Winner, winner chicken….uh, never mind….

Ok party people, weekend’s over. Back to work.

That’s the bad news.

The good news?

We have a winner!

And the other good news is that thanks to my lovely, compassionate and brave friends who decided to reveal their own garage, quonset, farmyard and basement rubble woes as part of Friday’sHot Hot Redneck Mess prize alert post not only have I discovered that I am not alone in the complete disaster that I have lurking outside my window, I got a few giggles, snorts and solid advice in the process.  

And because each hoarding, junk/treasure collecting, farmyard cleanup, old school papers, naked husband painting in the garage, used toilet story is unique and different just like you, I decided the fair way to select the winner of the challenge was to put the names in my dirty Carhart cap and leave the winner up to chance and those Junk Gods I’ve been praying to.

And it looks like the Junk Gods have a favorite because they chose Holly. Sweet Holly who volunteered to come out to the ranch and hold my hand as I gently, boss, I mean, urge husband to give up the three wheeler, dirt bike, jet ski, pail full of nuts and bolts, washing machine, five of the six coolers, ball of twine, his old batman pajamas from the third grade etc, etc, etc…

Holly I know we are not close neighbors so we might have to postpone that trip, but I am going to tweak your next piece of advice a bit and talk to husband about paying me $25 per hour for my time on this project.

Then I’m going to close my eyes and wait for him to pick me up and drop me in the water tank.

Dog in the stock tankBig Brown Dog, I fear you’ll have company soon…

Congratulations Holly, you have your choice of the following three matted 8X10 metallic prints to hang on your wall as a reminder that outside of the Veeder Ranch garage, North Dakota has some beautiful sights. Let me know if you’d like me to include a couple pairs of ice skates, a broken ladder or a rabbit cage at

Wild Prairie Rose

North Dakota Badlands

Grass and Moon

Ok, now for more of the bad news.

I didn’t actually touch the damn garage this weekend.

Guilty of avoidance...

Don’t judge me, I had a higher calling.

We went camping instead.

We had to, I mean as much as I wanted to spend the entire 90 degree weekend hauling microwaves and washing machines and lawn ornaments out of the garage and to the garbage pit, sweat dripping down my back and pooling into a nice little puddle at the top of my butt crack, it was our annual Christmas in July with husband’s family, and well, I had no choice.

I had to go. I couldn’t let the in-laws down.

I mean, this little girl was waiting for me and what type of iron hearted woman would I be if I rejected this face?

And who would want to miss these moments of heart melting sweetness?

Besides, they were counting on me to soak in the lake, make a mass batch of margaritas, take a boat ride, try my balance on a massive floating log and, due to a miscalculated body launch, accidentally show the entire crew of in-laws my snow white butt cheeks, tube with my little niece, eat hot dogs, and hang out with the chickens…



Yup. The chickens went camping.

And I think that my in-laws and I might be the only people in the world who can utter that phrase with complete truth and honesty.

What? You act like you've never seen a chicken on a beach before...

Now, I am not sure where to go from here except to promise you I’ll get to the garage project this evening…

right after I write up my contract, locate my water wings, deliver papers to husband, and pull my ass out of the water tank…


And, you know, right after I finish the laundry.

Happy Monday lovelies!!!

8 thoughts on “Winner, winner chicken….uh, never mind….

  1. Lol. Looks like allot more fun than sweating to the oldies while cleaning. I’m probably one of the worst procrastinators(not saying you are at all) on this side of the state. Yes, I eventually get to a task, it is just slow going and I try to multi-task, socialize, spend time w/ kiddos, ect. OK, I’ll use every excuse in the book, unless it get’s so bad I cannot take it anymore. Wishing you a good week. Nicole

  2. Ah Jessie, I’ve missed you! Didn’t realize how much until I finally got my computer repaired and caught up on the posts of the past few weeks…you make me laugh, sigh, smile, reminisce, appreciate…and yeah, those tender moments of your hubby with the little blonde cutie are more important than any work awaiting at home! Thanks for sharing!

    • Oh! And I had to laugh at the title of this post…my hubby and his bf both hate voicemail messages (leaving and receiving) almost as much as not reaching the person they are calling, so one of them began leaving “Winner, winner chicken dinner” as the message every time the other didn’t answer the phone until it has gradually become a standard greeting around here. Craziness! 🙂

  3. Jesse, I love you!!!!!
    Not because i won a contest I didnt know I was in but because now I get the stuff!!!
    Seriously I did “organize” a garage this AM. It was 92 with 87% humidity. It seemed cool in the garage out of the sun.
    We moved at the speed of light and after an hour and a half we had finished the lions share of the slash and burn project.
    I was making a garage negoitable for a centenial celebration. As I was thinking of what may have gone on at that very spot 100 years ago I thought of your blog.
    I was drenched and tired by 12:30 and determined to show up early tomorrow to wash the few items up for the big doings.
    The aside to the whole deal was this and it is notable.
    I took all the trash to the berm but I found an old piece of canvas that was green, yellow and white stripe after the trek to the berm. I threw it in the back of my truck to put it in the trash when I left. The trash man had come and with the canvas still in my box I thought “Everything happens for a reason”.
    When I got home Mary called and asked “Do you have an old piece of green and yellow canvas?’ I laughed and said “yes I do”
    As it turns out it was the only remnant of the shades they dropped over screens winter and summer at the lake cabin on Green Lake in Spicr, Mn.. There was not glass in that house in 1911.
    She intends to cut it in small pieces to give it to the 75 or so family members who attend the celebration. Remember that every mans junk is anothers treasure.
    God was close. I believe that totally.
    Everything happens for a reason and I love cleaning garages. Thank you Jesse I will take the landscape but would like to pick it up in person.Take Care Darlin and keep doin what you do you are a keeper. 🙂
    Again everything happens for a reason and you were meant to go to the lake!!!!!

  4. Oh My Gosh! When I read the garage cleaning entry, I thought of my sister Holly immediately! All my adult life, I have been reluctant to leave her alone in my house because when I return, my furniture is rearranged and the wall hangings are changed, too. It always looks better but “geesh!” She can do more in an hour than anyone I know!

    Our parents are in their 90’s and Holly keeps them organized and up to date with seasonal clothing changes and home decorating. She didn’t tell you that she is a talented artist and a horsewoman through and through. She likes breeding horses and caring for them and I like riding and caring for them and riding them, and riding them.

    I’m so glad she won the photo – we’ll love to come out and see you to pick it up. And there must be a ride included. The horses in your photos are so handsome, I would love to take a trail ride and see the beautiful landscape you’re so lucky to call home!

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