And now I bring you last night’s dinner conversation: 

Pops: “Man, there was a lot of truck traffic on this road today, hauling back and forth all day long. Must have some big project over there.”

Husband: “Yup.”

Pops (mixing his mashed potatoes in with his peas):  “Now Jess,  that’d be a business right there. Set up a food stand at the approach, sell some sandwiches or something, you’d make a killing.”

Husband: “Yup.”

Me, to Husband: “Hey, remember when we drove that big loop there to the south and there was that woman selling burritos out of her car…haha, she just had a big piece of neon tagboard taped to her trunk that said: “Burritos: $5″ or something.”

Pops: “I once saw a guy by Williston with a sign on his car that just said “Steaks.”

Husband: “That seems like a gamble to me.”

Me: “Man, there’s some weird stuff around here, you know, when you think about it. Like the couple that goes from town to town selling bonsai trees. I see them everywhere, like all the time, in every town. I mean, how many cowboys or oil field workers are in the market for a bonsai tree you think?”

Pops: “No. Burritos seem like a better business model.”

Husband: “Yup”

Me: “And have you seen the guy with the knife stand in Williston. Just sells knives. That’s it.”

Husband: “Yup. Think he’s in New Town now.”

Pops: “Wonder if those are good knives?”

Me: “Or that big bus that comes through town that just sells stickers. Has all those flashing lights. There’s always a line at that place. How much money can you make off stickers?! ….I guess, when I think about it, there are a lot of trucks with inappropriate stickers around here. At least they know their market…”

Pops: “Yeah, they’re on the trucks with the balls hanging off the hitch. You know what I’m talking about, right. Like truck nuts.  Know what I want to do with those when I walk by?”

(Never seen ’em? You must live in a higher-end neighborhood.
Click here if you’re curious.)

Me: “Oh gawd, what?”

Pops: “I want to saw them off and replace them with like, little balls.” (shapes finger and thumb to demonstrate size.)

Husband: “Yeah?”

Pops: “Yeah, like, I’d do it indiscriminately, just walk by and replace ’em where I see ’em. It would be like an epidemic.”

Husband: “Hahaha, you’d be like the ball bandit.”

Me: “Do it in the winter, those southern boys will think it’s shrinkage.”

Husband: “Good Lord Jessie.”

Me: “What?”

Pops: “Pass the salt.”