Fart Gun

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I spent the weekend with Darth.

And he spent the weekend with his fart gun.

I thought it was an imaginary thing when he made me lean over so he could “Tell me a secret.”

“Ok,” I said. “What’s your secret?”

“Fart Gun,” he said.

Fart. Gun.

And then he laughed and laughed and said.

“Find it!”

And then I laughed and said, “Okay, yeah…go find it you crazy kid.”

Go find that weird imaginary and apparently “top secret” flatulence weapon…

And then we played Darth Vader some more…

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and pirates…

and a little superhero game I invented while finishing up the chores called “Sock Boy,” the world’s most helpful and domestic hero.

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Have a laundry situation? He’ll sort it out!

Need someone to hold your dustpan? He’s there in a jiffy!

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Big home construction project? He’ll help you prioritize!

photo-25 Making french toast? He can beat eggs with the best of them.

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Yes, it was a busy day for for a little man, and after a story or two about barnyard animals and wild things romping about, he was tuckered out, tucked in and snoring…

And when he woke the next morning you know what came toddling out with him?

A Fart Gun!

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Yes.

The Fart Gun is a real thing…

It was in his bag.

His mother packed it for him.

“Well look at that!” I declared.

“PFFFTTTT….. BLLLURRTTCHHH….FLLLRRRRPPPTTT…HAAA HAAAA”, said the Fart Gun and the kid.

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And that’s pretty much all the both of them said for the next two days.

Forget Darth Vader, let’s shoot this Fart Gun at my aunt while she’s working on her taxes.

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Forget the Pirate thing, let’s point it at the dog’s butt, pull the trigger and laugh hysterically.

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Forget the whole “Sock Boy” routine, it’s just me and my Fart Gun now.

Forever.

And ever.

Amen.

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“PFFFTTTT….. BLLLURRTTCHHH….FLLLRRRRPPPTTT…HAAA HAAAA.”

“PFFFTTTT….. BLLLURRTTCHHH….FLLLRRRRPPPTTT…HAAA HAAAA.”

“PFFFTTTT….. BLLLURRTTCHHH….FLLLRRRRPPPTTT…HAAA HAAAA.”

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Well played big sister

Well played.

11 thoughts on “Fart Gun

  1. I sat at my kitchen table and laughed out loud as I read this. He is quite a character! And isn’t he growing big? I’ve been following your blog for a while, at least two years, and I remember seeing the photos of Little Man as a toddler. But he’s not a toddler any more!

    Being an aunt is wonderful, isn’t it? I have ten nieces but only one nephew! My newest niece is less than one day old. 🙂

  2. As the mom of 2 boys I totally 100% get this. The look on the dog’s face says it all!! (help me?)

    Ha ha hah! Great stuff and your sister is a genius for packing the fart gun!
    MJ

  3. This is HILARIOUS! My 7 year old has one too and he has a hoot or a “toot” with it. The other day I was going “potty” and the little bugger snuck in and put it by the base of the toilet. I didn’t notice because I was googling on my smart phone..then all the sudden..well…you know! LOL…Thanks for sharing Jesse!

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