Ok people. That up there? That was real life here this weekend. Like real, zero degree, blustery, white, snowy, wintery life here in our little piece of Western North Dakota paradise.
That’s a real life rosy nose. And that’s a traditional camouflage neck warmer and real snow carried on their shoulders into the house directly from under the unpredictable November sky.
And those men have just come in from working under it, trudging through the deep white blanket like two abominable snow men roaring through the trees and valleys on a quest to find the cattle in a near white out.
Because the show must go on. Even when you feel like you’re trapped in some sort of glitchy snow globe that was put together without the pretty, sparkly Christmas decorations.
Anyway, it’s times like these I am glad I can feign being busy with housework and avoid the outdoor chores. And it’s times like these, when the ice melts off the men’s muddy boots and onto my “freshly mopped” floor, that I look for a reason not to find the nearest bear den and join in the celebration of hibernation, chances of being mauled and eaten be damned.
So for my sanity and for the sanity of the puffy coated beings around me, I came up with the following. Hopefully it will help convince you this season can be loved and trusted to happily deliver some wonderful things.
I present to you:
The Top Ten Reasons You Can Like Winter And Move on With Your Life:
1. Pockets. Now that you are wearing an excessive amount of clothing, you are bound to have a pocket or two.
And if you’re really lucky, you left a dollar or ten in there last spring when you put it away and are now smiling cause you found it… and promptly purchased 1-10 Snickers bars.
Because money found in that manner should be used to buy candy.
It’s a rule I just made up.
Also, pockets make it so you can carry an unreasonable amount of things you might need…like gum and matches and pictures of your pug…er, I mean kids…and candy bars.
2. Mittens. They allow your fingers to get reacquainted after that long, hot summer. Your fingers appreciate this. And I appreciate mittens.
You should too.
3. From November to April you have a fine excuse for your bad hair days. It’s called a beanie people (or a toque if you’re my neighbor to the north). Deal with it.
And they will, cause their hair looks exactly the same when they come in from the cold.
4. It is not swimsuit season.
And won’t be again for a good seven months. So have a cookie why don’t ya.
5. Snuggling with the cat.
Snuggling with the pug.
Snuggling with the lab.
Snuggling with the other cat.
Snuggling with the husband.
Snuggling with a blanket and a cup of coffee.
Snuggling with all of the above.
Oh, and snuggling with a Snuggie–God’s apology to man kind for inventing this weather in the first place.
6. This time of year nobody will give you a hard time if you watch “A Christmas Story” repeatedly until Valentine’s Day. Because nothing warms a chilly soul like a pair of bunny pajamas, a Red Rider BB Gun and a lamp that looks like a leg.
7. Can’t decide on what to wear? No problem, you can wear it all (and probably should if you’re fond of your toes).
8. Sledding, skiing, skating, snowboarding and all of the other dangerous winter sports I stink at but you’re probably good at.
Just do me a favor and skip the triple axels and back flips and ollies when I’m around and we can remain friends. I’m sensitive about my lack of skills.
And the constant stream of snot running down my nose when I partake in these activities.
9. The landscape looks good in white and you look good in wool and fleece– which makes you two a match made in heaven.
10. This season–this blustery, sparkly, fluffy, temperamental season–makes spring all the sweeter and summer all the greener. 150 degree temperature fluctuations? No problem.
Where would we be if we weren’t adaptable?
Well, we would all be in San Diego…
And it’d probably get kinda crowded there and they’d more than likely run out of tequila…
So I’ll take my hot chocolate with a splash of peppermint schnapps and wait this out in my long underwear and a wool cap, thanks.
Because bikinis are overrated and don’t go well with my favorite neckerchief.
Cheers to the new season. How nice of it to show up early.
Because really, doesn’t it make for a stunning, fresh scene?
There, don’t we feel better now?
P.S. Email me and I’ll gladly give you the name of my stylist.