Last weekend, my friend up the hill invited us — and the entire contents of my little sister’s apple tree — over to her house for what she refers to as “Apple Day.”
Apple Day sounds like what it is — an entire day dedicated to transforming the fruit of an over-productive tree into delicious treats we will store away for the long winter so that we can pull them out and reminisce about the three minutes of summer and one minute of fall we once had — and that time we all got together and canned 700 quarts of applesauce, assembled 3,000 apple crisps and made 500 from-scratch pies.
“Mmm, tastes like a perfect autumn day,” we’ll say as we serve it up over ice cream, likely to the very same friends who we made it with, so I won’t be able to take much credit because it’s my friend who’s the brains of the operation.
And my sister and I? Well, we spent most of the day saving our babies’ lives from the big chunks of choking hazards we kept dropping on the floor.
And stirring.
And eating.
Because when my friend does Apple Day, she makes sure she has banana bars, three different soups, bread and a sample of our newly created crisp in the oven. And ice cream. Always the ice cream.
It was a lovely day. Because yes, we got to take home enough treats to fill a freezer, but mostly because it’s always been like this with her, my oldest childhood friend, and it was nice to stir up the memories.
My mom likes to tell the story of her as the tiny 3-year-old she used to babysit who gave my mother a tutorial on how to properly crack an egg while standing on her tippy toes on a stool in her kitchen.
And when we were growing up, my friend would lead the charge of recipe creations made out of ingredients like Hot Tamales, angel hair pasta and marshmallow cream. If it sounds disgusting, it was.
But so was the green garden pepper smeared with peanut butter she convinced me to eat when I was 10. Turns out that’s actually a thing her family eats.
So now, whenever I taste an out-of-the-garden-pepper, I think of her freckled, sunburned face laughing as I spit it out cartoon-style.
It’s the same way I think of her and I standing in the road ditch north of my place every time I taste a Juneberry pie that is never as good as the one she made from the berries we plopped in that bucket tucked into the sling where my casted arm rested, a result of a summer horse injury that didn’t really stop us.
Nothing really stopped us back then. And now look at us, all grown up with a thousand excuses to say no to the things we think we don’t have time for, like standing side by side rolling out dough and laughing.
And so today, for so many reasons, I thank God for a friend who says yes. Yes to pie and a house full of kids who get to grow up with sweet memories tucked away, too.
The weather’s getting cooler, the leaves are changing and the tomato crop is ripening. Fall is in the air and that means sweaters and boots and soups for supper.
It’s perfect timing for the last few months of this pregnancy. I might as well load up on cream based broth and hearty ingredients accompanied by thick slices of bread or cheese sandwiches while it’s perfectly acceptable for my waistline to be thickening and my wardrobe consists of plenty of stretchy pants.
So we’ve kicked soup season off right around here by visiting the garden and revisiting the homemade tomato soup recipe Husband concocted during the first fall back home.
After a few years I think this September soup is a tradition now. I’ve shared the step by step, photographic journey documented in the tiny kitchen of the old ranch house on my blog every year, but this year I thought it was time I put it in the papers so the whole state would get a chance to do something really great with their tomato crop.
And last night we made it again, just shifting the ingredients a bit (celery salt instead of celery seed and skipping the dill weed because I couldn’t find it in the mess of my spice cabinet) and it turned out just lovely, just like it does every year. Little Sister was over to help me with a project, we called up mom and Pops and Husband started making up some sort of spectacular ham and cheese sandwich with like four different cheeses and we had ourselves a little Sunday feast.
And now I’m going to have to have him make those sandwiches again so I can follow him around and write that shit down, because well, we all need more versions of the grilled cheese in our lives…
So cheers to growing babies, waistlines and tomatoes. I hope you give yourself a chance to stir up this soup and sit down and enjoy it with the people (and a sandwich) you love.
There are many things I like about our new season — more cool days, changing colors and cozy sweaters, and less bugs, lawn mowing and sweat.
Also, recently, fall means cool air coming in from the open windows at night and more reasons to steal my husband’s big flannels from his closet on my way out the door to take photographs before the sun sets on this quickly changing season.
Yes, these longer nights have their benefits. Like, my husband and I will be seeing a little more of each other across the supper table these days because supper time isn’t being ignored while we’re out in the barnyard or in the pasture somewhere squeezing every minute of sunlight from the day.
And more time at the supper table means more time spent in the kitchen with the man I married who happens to be really good at cooking things like homemade noodles and casseroles and German heritage dishes and other things that require a large dollop of butter and an even bigger swig of heavy whipping cream — a requirement, I guess, if we want to pad up our rear ends in preparation for a long cold winter.
And it’s no coincidence that soup season comes rolling at the same time the tomato crop starts turning red, which only means that the man has been forced to come up with a delicious way to celebrate them.
And when I say forced, I mean “gently” persuaded by a growing pile of ripening tomatoes on the kitchen counter and a pregnant wife declaring that she’s starving over here.
So to honor it all, the changing season, my tomato crop, unwavering appetite, affinity for heavy whipping cream and my husband’s kitchen skills, I would like to share a recipe he concocted during our first autumn spent back at the ranch.
After finding me in the kitchen stomping, whining and nearly losing an eye to a jalapeño pepper after my first attempt at the age-old-tradition of salsa making, only to clean it all up, put my hands on my hips, reach for my goggles and declare that I was now going to attempt tomato soup — 8 p.m. — I think he felt the need to run interference.
And so I ditched the goggles, picked up a pen and followed him around the kitchen as he whipped up a little piece of heaven right there on the very same table where I was nearly murdered by that jalapeño pepper.
And I’m so glad that I did, because the thing with my husband’s cooking is that it’s all in his head, like a story or a song. If it’s not written down, the melody might change a bit or the plot might thicken sooner the next time around.
But I captured it in its original perfection and now we make it a tradition year after year.
‘Tis the season! May your tomatoes never be stranded again. Enjoy!
Cowboy’s Garden Tomato Soup
Ingredients
¼ cup water
3 cups fresh tomatoes, diced
1 cup (about 3 medium carrots) diced
¼ of a large purple onion, diced
2 cloves fresh garlic, minced
1 12-ounce can tomato sauce
1 stick butter
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon celery seed
1 teaspoon dill weed
1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil
1 tablespoon chopped cilantro
½ teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon chopped chives
Ground black pepper, to taste
4 chicken bouillon cubes
1½ cups heavy whipping cream (room temperature)
Directions
In a large soup pot add the diced tomatoes, carrots, onion and garlic to ¼ cup water and simmer on low for about 5 to 7 minutes or until the tomatoes start to gently boil. Stir in the tomato sauce, butter, seasonings and bouillon cubes and simmer the soup on low, allowing the onions and carrots to cook, about 30 minutes.
Once the vegetables are cooked through, slowly stir in the heavy whipping cream and say “M’m! M’m! Good!” while Campbell sobs silently to himself.
Heat (don’t boil) for a few minutes, serve it up and have yourself a happy and well-fed fall.
In case you didn’t notice all of the pickups driving a little bit slower down the highway…or that blaze orange and camouflage have suddenly appeared as a fashion statement…or, you know, your husband/boyfriend/significant other has been missing since last Friday come think of it, I am here to remind you.
It’s deer hunting season.
It’s official.
I think I’ve mentioned it before here, but deer hunting season is a holiday around here with its own set of traditions. Kids get out of school, basement poker becomes a popular activity, beer gets a new, hunting appropriate look and clean-cut men grow beards, wear vests, drink whisky, wake up at the butt-crack of dawn to walk miles and miles in the whipping wind only to sleep together in close, smelly quarters in the middle of nowhere, rain, shine or snow, in what is known up here as “hunting camp.”
Now hunting camp seems pretty rustic and masculine for the city boys whose main outdoor chore is weed eating around the rose bushes. Those boys itch for the day they can pack up their duffles with camouflage, bourbon, bullets and only one change of underwear and head for the hills and to their manly roots. Somehow it doesn’t ring as particularly romantic to the man who chases cattle out of his yard on a daily basis and frequently finds deer legs on his front porch, a gift from the canine friends he feeds perfectly decent dog food every morning.
But regardless of the man’s living situation, hanging with the guys at hunting camp is a staple of hunting season. Because really, after the big bucks are stalked and spotted and the farting, burping and scratching is freely is underway, what the season is really about is camaraderie and fellowship and getting back to the primal need of man to hunt and gather in order to feed his people.
Yes, it’s about the food. It always comes back to the food. So what an appropriate time for Cowboy to whip out his famous and simply rustic hunting camp stew. Because the second best thing to the whiskey at hunting camp is, hands down, the chow.
Our family takes great care when a wild animal is taken from our ranch. We prepare and put to use as much of the meat as we can, so this recipe is the perfect solution for those cuts of meat that aren’t as savory and tender, but still deserve a place on your plate.
I haven’t mastered the art of cooking wild game, but I tell you when I leave it to the men in my life, they do not disappoint.
The following recipe is made with wild elk meat from an animal taken by pops from our ranch earlier this fall.
Elk meat, when prepared properly, is tender and lean and can be ground up to make delicious burger, steaks and roast. We use the leftover cuts of meat that don’t fit in those categories to prepare stir fry, appetizers, fajitas, chilli and, of course, this stew, but this recipe will be equally delicious if you want to use beef or venison.
So let’s get to it shall we?
Cowboy Cooks Hunting Camp Stew
Step 1: Grab a glass
First things first, put on your snarky apron, neckerchief, sexy cowboy hat and pour yourself a drink…oh, and remember to not say the words “sexy cowboy hat” in hunting camp.
This evening’s drink of choice: Black Velvet
Which brings up another hunting camp rule: avoid singing Alannah Myles’s “Black Velvet” at the top of your lungs while pouring yourself a drink. That will go over about as well as “sexy cowboy hat.”
Ok, when preparing himself a glass of whiskey, Cowboy sometimes likes to make his own, manly version of the famous and classy “whiskey sour”. So he adds a splash of lemon juice and an ice-cube.
No, it’s not your gramma’s drink.
Alright, now that we have that out of the way, let’s move on.
Step 2: Gather the ingredients:
Here’s are the simply, basic ingredients that you’re gonna need besides whiskey.
2 lbs elk meat (or venison or beef) cubed into bite sized pieces…man bites
10 whole cherry/Roma tomatoes
4 medium potatoes
1 cup of fresh or frozen corn
1 cup of fresh or frozen peas
3 large carrots
½ large purple onion
1 T black pepper
½ t red pepper
1 t thyme leaves
½ t rubbed sage
3 fresh garlic cloves
salt to taste (and don’t go easy on the salt ok)
½ stick butter
8 cups water
2 cups flour
Now if you are a man in a hunting camp, you more than likely packed and prepared for this hearty meal. If you are a woman in a little house in the middle of nowhere who put “go grocery shopping” on the bottom of her to do list, right behind the laundry, you will have to run to the neighbor’s to get potatoes and onions…and then come back home only to realize you don’t have carrots either…
don't look at me like that...
Ok, now that you have everything, lets move on.
Step 3: Prep your ingredients
Bring your cups of water to a boil in a large pot. And when I say large, I mean it. We had overflow people…making this a two pot stew…for two people.
You heard me, now go scrounge up that giant pot you save for cooking giant things…
Ok, now while you’re boiling the water cut up some things:
Cube the meat into man-sized pieces
Dice three garlic cloves
I know what you're thinking...pretty fancy dish for hunting camp...
Dice 1/2 purple onion
Cube 4 medium potatoes
Dice three large carrots…take a bite—what’s up doc?
Ok, now your water should be close to boiling.
Drop the potatoes and carrots in there to get them cooking.
Step 3: The meat
Now we are going to deal with the meat.
Warm up your skillet on medium/high heat and add ½ stick butter (and a little bacon grease left over from breakfast ) and melt. Use olive oil too if you want..or just butter…or just olive oil…whatever…it’s hunting camp, you can do what you want.
Now we are going to prepare a little flour coating for the meat.
Measure 2 cups of flour in a flat tupperwear or open bowl. To the flour add the black pepper, red pepper, thyme, sage and plenty of salt.
Mix this concoction together with your hands because you are manly like that.
Then give your meat a little dusting of salt and then coat the pieces in the flour mixture.
Now make sure your skillet is nice and hot and add the meat…then grunt like Tim the “Tool Man” Taylor because that’s what you do at hunting camp.
Now add the onions and garlic too.
Cook the meat to very rare. You won’t want to cook it all the way because it will have more cooking to do when you add it to the pot.
Go ahead, give it a taste.
Good right?
Ok now you can add it to the boiling water with those delicious chunks of carrot and potato. Boil for about 20 minutes or until potatoes are nearly done.
Step 4: Finishing it up
When your carrots and potatoes are done to your liking (about 15 minutes prior to serving) add the rest of your colorful ingredients:
In goes the corn…
and the peas…
and the tomatoes
*queue tomato dropping action sequence*
Sweat a little because it’s about to boil over….
Now add some of the leftover flour mixture to the stew and cook until desired thickness
Simmer for about 15 minutes or until everything is cooked to the proper consistency.
Also, don’t forget to taste your work. I like a little more salt in my stew, others might want a little more heat, so adjust the seasoning as you go along your merry, manly way. This stew is pretty basic, which leave room for any kind of seasoning your manly heart desires.
Oh, and while your waiting, have someone make biscuits to go along with your hearty meal.
I am pretty gifted as far as baking goes, so I took on the task.
Yup. Ah Pilsbury, making regular wives into Betty Crocker every day.
Alright, now we’ve found ourselves adequately whiskied up and things are smelling a bit better in the hunting camp, I think it’s time for our final step.
Step 5: Eat!
Now if you’re actually in a hunting camp instead of a tiny house with your wife, I would like to imagine that you would serve this up in some of those tin camping bowls. But my white dishes with the blue design will have to do for today.
Now stand back in your apron and not-sexy at all cowboy hat as the rest of the men at camp give you some grunts and thumbs up while they devour your stew.
There won’t be any left over for lunch I guarantee…I mean, playing poker and swapping stories around the fire is exhausting.
Ok speaking of tomatoes…(because we were speaking of tomatoes weren’t we?) I am so excited to share with you some news I’ve been waiting for all summer while we grilled burgers outside at 10pm because we just got in and the sun hadn’t set yet. I love those days. I do. And I love burgers, what girl doesn’t? But as the summer winds down and the days get shorter the one thing that keeps me from whining like a little girl who wants to stay up past her bedtime is this: longer nights divided by more Cowboy time in the kitchen = rich, hearty food that tastes like heaven…which results in a little something to take the edge off the cooler weather and inevitable winter…oh, and a little extra padding on my rear-end to help keep me warm.
Yes, cream and butter and hearty seasonings have blown back into my life with the autumn wind and I’m in the market for bigger stretchy pants because, you guessed it…
Cowboy’s cute butt is back in the kitchen…
And here he is, with his favorite ingredient: heavy whipping cream
and this time he’s outdone himself.
Now, I don’t like to push the man. Really I don’t. He has been busy this summer working on getting our new house squared away, building me picture frames, chasing cows around, fixing things I’ve recently broken, and, you know, working. So I haven’t asked him if he has any new recipes brewing up there under his hat. I haven’t mentioned to him that I am sstttaarrvvinng over here. No I haven’t. But this weekend as he watched his dearly beloved sob and stomp and whine and worry and nearly lose an eye as she tackled the age-old tradition of vegetable canning only to clean it all up, put her hands on her hips, reach for her goggles and declare that she was now going to attempt tomato soup…at 6 pm…I think he felt the need to run interference.
Because he must have been starving too…and he couldn’t wait until 3 am to enjoy his wife’s amateur tomato soup attempt.
So last Sunday Cowboy swooped in and rescued his maiden in fleece pants from her overzealous self by suggesting that perhaps he could try cooking tomato soup. That maybe he had an idea for a recipe. That possibly it would be good for her to find her camera and computer and do what she does best…document it.
And boy am I glad I did. Because the thing with Cowboy’s cooking is this: it’s all in his head, like a story or a song–if it’s not written down the melody might change a bit or the plot might thicken sooner the next time around.
So I gladly handed over the metaphorical apron, grabbed my camera and notebook and watched as the man I married whipped up a little piece of heaven right there on the very same table where I was nearly murdered by a jalapeno pepper. It was a beautiful thing and I know you’re going to love it….
and I am only just a little jealous of the ease at which this man tackles life…and soup.
So grab your favorite autumn brew and those pesky tomatoes…and then grab a few more because you’re going to want to make a double batch of this stuff:
Cowboy Cooks Garden Tomato Soup
Ok, here’s what you need, gathered and deliberately documented by following Cowboy around the kitchen using the journalist skills I acquired in college, and that cute little reporter hat, pen and paper pad.
3 cups diced fresh tomatoes
1 cup, or 3 medium garden carrots (use more if you wanna)
1/4 large purple onion
2 cloves fresh garlic (I have to tell you, I was looking everywhere in this tiny kitchen for fresh garlic when I was making my salsa. I whined and dug and threw things around. Cowboy mentions he would like some garlic and it just magically appeared in the cupboard. This is my life. I get a mess, Cowboy gets a magic cupboard…anyway moving on)
1 12 oz can of tomato sauce
1 bay leaf
1 tsp celery seed
1 tsp dill weed (haha, dill weed)
1 Tbsp basil (fresh would be best, but I forgot to plant basil, so dried tastes great too)
1 Tbsp fresh, chopped cilantro (or dried will work too)
1 tsp rosemary (we had a little rosemary debate, you know, now that I am an expert. I didn’t win. But if the little rosemary seed floaters annoy you like they annoy me, just put in a 1/2 tsp)
Ground black pepper to taste
1 (heaping) tsp chopped chives
4 bouillon cubes
1 stick butter (or 8 Tbsp if it makes you feel better)
1 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream (get your cream out of the fridge before use and set it on the counter for a bit. This way, when you add it to the hot soup it will blend well.)
Step 1: Call your Pops who is home alone to invite him for supper. I mean, he was kind enough to grow these tomatoes (and carrots) for you.
Step 2: Serve you and your cook an Autumn Ale, you know, to keep with the mood of the season.
Octoberfest. Perfect.
Step 3: Sharpen your knives.
In Cowboy’s kitchen, this is the step that takes the longest. I mean, he has a knife briefcase.
Really.
And in that knife briefcase lives this mamajamma.
I know this looks weird, but Cowboy tests the sharpness of his knives by attempting to shave the hair off his knuckles…just like John Wayne or something, I dunno.
I think I said something like “Holy Shit!”
Step 3:Chop and simmer the veggies
Dice three cups worth of garden tomatoes
and put those babies in large a pot to simmer on low while you prep the other veggies
Dice three garden carrots. Look at these heavenly creatures!
I especially like this one. Pops said he was holding the rest of the carrots together when he found him.
What a nice little carrot. I liked him so much I ate him.
Ok, yeah, anyway, dice about one cup worth of carrots.
Now dice up 1/4 of that large, purple onion…
..sniff, sniff..please don’t cry.
Add the onions and carrots to the pot with the tomatoes
And pour in the tomato sauce
While the veggies and sauce simmer on low, move on to
Step 4: The seasoning
First, plop in the butter
Yup. The whole stick…or if you’d like, just 8 tablespoons.
Now, in no particular order add the seasonings to the pot, tasting and testing as you go to make sure you just love it.
Now let the concoction simmer this way on low for a bit. Have some more brew. Set your table. Read Cowboy magazine, whatever. You must cook this all up, letting the flavors blend and allowing the onions and carrots to cook.
About 30 minutes.
Onward!
Step 5: The best part
Need I say more?
Once the veggies are nice and cooked, measure yourself out a heaping cup of your room temperature heavy whipping cream and slowly stir it into the soup.
Now say “mmmm….mmmmm….mmmmm….” while Campbells sobs silently to himself…
Let warm for a few minutes and…well…what you will have there people is some damn good tomater soup.
Damn good!
So waste no time…
Step 6: Serve it up!
If you want, make yourself a grilled cheese to go with it.
But honestly, you won’t want to touch that stupid sandwich. My photos in the dim lighting of my home do not do it justice.
Today in Cowboy’s Kitchen we feature a long-standing German tradition in Cowboy’s family. It is a special treat his momma makes him when he is over for a visit.
It is “I love you so much I’m gonna fatten you up” food.
It is weird.
Just weird enough to win my mom and pops over when Cowboy prepared this for them when we were dating….you know, back in the day.
So we invited them over for a taste, because my momma claims that Cowboy hasn’t made this particular dish for her in “a hundred years.”
Now I will list the four reasons this dish has stood the test of time and has won mothers and girlfriends over for generations (and now that I’m thinking about it, probably won some women husbands as well)…
Because it is:
1. Mostly white
2. Buttery
3. Fried
4. Carb loaded
Perfect for that slimming waistline and to keep you warm in the unexpected weather.
It is also really great because it sure isn’t fancy. You probably all have these items fully stocked in your cupboards and fridges as we speak.
But before we begin, Cowboy would like to express his embarrassment. Because due to the blizzard, we don’t have the good booze.
Hence, his drink of choice tonight….Svedka Vodka…(Cowboy says he got this on sale)
Ummm…ok…
Swedish vodka
+
German Food
It’s a blending of cultures…just like us.
Also, Cowboy decided after last time we needed some good music to set the proper frame of mind.
Cowboy says you don’t cut anything, not even a potato, until the knife is sharp enough to shave with.
I waited a good fifteen minutes while this went on…and on…
…and on…
So much preparation.
Whew…deep breath as I remember Cowboy’s motto: “No bitch’n in the kitchen.”
Lesson learned.
Here we go.
Cowboy Cooks Homemade Noodles and Crunchies
The simple cast of characters:
3 cups flour
1 1/2 sticks butter
4 potatoes
1 cup milk
1 egg
4 slices bread or 4 buns
sprinkle of salt
See what I’m saying about the carbs….
and the white…
Oh, and a side of meat….cause this is a Cowboy’s kitchen after all.
*Note: Cowboy usually serves this dish with a side of deer or breakfast sausage of some sort. Here is where I admit that I was put in charge of thawing out the meat and I unintentionally forgot that our ancient microwave doesn’t have a proper defrost setting and proceeded to cook the sausage until it took on the consistency of a rubber mask.
Anyway, we had to resort to the ham slab that brother in law brought us.
Another lesson learned.
Step One: The Potatoes
Peel 4 medium sized potatoes (or more, depending on how gaunt your guests are)
Cut potatoes into bite sized pieces (the actual size depends on how big your guests’ mouths are…)
Place cut potatoes in boiling water with “three to four twists on a sea salt grinder.”(But before you do, quickly add a ½ tablespoon of butter to the boiling water. And be quiet about it cause it’s Cowboy’s secret ingredient)
Boil for 10-15 minutes
Now step outside and call a couple coyotes (seriously, that is what he did)…what did I say about Cowboy’s methods? Slow and steady, it’s about the process.
The Red Bull doesn’t even budge this.
Now, while you’re waiting, and after the coyote call, begin the noodles. And be prepared to impress your big mouthed guests (or your future wife or husband or mother in law). Cause this is what I call seriously homemade.
Step 2: The Noodles
Using the one hand egg crack technique, crack one egg into a liquid measuring cup
Whisk with fork
Add a little salt
Add 1 cup of milk to the egg, whisk again and pour into a bowl
Now add a handful and a half of flour to the mixture and stir
Cowboy says dough is all about the feel, not precise measurements…
So…stir and add flour until the dough is knead-able
Then sprinkle a bit of flour on your surface to avoid stick
Knead the dough while continuing to sprinkle flour on the mix, adding flour as you knead to help roll the dough out evenly
Using a rolling pin, roll out the dough until it’s about 1/8th of an inch thick
Here you can see Cowboy showing off a little by tossing the dough in the air. You can do this too, if you want.
But if you’re like me and don’t really like the idea of cleaning dough off of the ceiling and shampooing it out of you and your guest’s hair, you can skip it…a rolling pin will do fine.
Now cut the dough into strips, about 1 inch wide
Cowboy uses a pizza cutter cause he’s not the type of guy who is opposed to new technology. If you want to do it old school, use a knife.
Then cut the dough again the opposite direction, creating nice little rectangles
Now check your potatoes to make sure they are on their way to being done
Add the noodles to the boiling potatoes and cook for about 10 minutes (the noodles will float when they are done)
Also a really great excuse to use his man sized spatula.
Uff da.
Step 3: The Crunchies
Now for the best part….the crunchies. You were wondering about these weren’t ya!
While cooking the noodles, melt 1 1/2 sticks of butter in a pan (Cowboy prefers cast iron…typical) and melt completely
While the butter is melting, tear apart bread or buns into bite sized pieces.(It’s ok if they are stale and old, this is what you do with that stuff)
Now welcome you’re guests because they bring wine
Add the bread to the butter and fry, stirring occasionally, until the bread pieces are golden brown and “crunchy” Crunchy.
Get it?
Note: some of the crunchies may be a little black and that’s ok because it adds a rustic flavor. But just be sure not to burn them to a char, I warn you. That’ll really piss you off.
Remove from heat.
Step 4: Pull it Together
Strain noodle and potato mixture and put in a serving bowl
Add crunchies to the potato and noodle mix
Stir with your favorite big spoon
Step 5: Sit Down and Eat
Now don’t forget that meat…any kind of meat, cause it aint a meal unless there’s meat—no matter the butter and carbohydrates.
Oh, and I added my own touch to this meal…snarky napkins.
Just had-ta.
Weirdly delicious isn’t it?
Told ya!
Ahhh, it just doesn’t matter how much Red Bull you consume, the carbs always win.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch... 
