Sunday Column: A Baby Jesus #4

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I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas weekend. We have one more holiday visit to make to wrap up Edie’s first Christmas. We’ll hit the road tomorrow for eastern North Dakota to introduce her to my mom’s side of the family and her cousins, great aunts and uncles and of course,  great grandma and grandpa.

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It’s safe to say between the food, the visits, the gifts and the games, baby Edie fits well into our Christmas traditions.

And she’s already started a few of her own.

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This week’s column is about her a stage debut, baby Jesus, a fart in church and other meaningful messages.

Sunday Column: We all have a story about how we came into this world
by Jessie Veeder
12-27-15
Forum Communications
http://www.inforum.com

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Edie made her stage debut as “Baby Jesus No. 4” in church last Sunday.

As the story of Mary, Joseph and the angel unfolded on a stage filled with neighbor kids in homemade costumes, moms, dads, grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles and cousins looked on adoringly, waiting for their kid to take the stage as a camel or a wise man.

Turns out Edie’s first church fart led to a poop explosion that leaked through the special “Baby Jesus No. 4” outfit I picked out for the occasion, which also seeped onto her dad’s pants, which sent him and his sweet, stinky daughter to the back room for a quick change, only to have her re-emerge down the aisle dressed in fuzzy footie pajamas right on cue and right in time to lie down in a bouncy seat manger among a half-dozen barn animals, a dove, a monkey, a skunk, a couple shepherds, the angels, Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus Nos. 1, 2 and 3.

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The little country church where I grew up is experiencing a baby boom, and there was our Edie, second to youngest by a day, right in the middle of a Christmas story with carols, memorized lines and a close call with the Christmas tree, the advent candles and a toddler in a donkey hat.

It struck me then that Edie’s only 4 weeks old and already she has a memory. Not one that she’ll recall necessarily, but one I will retell to her year after year, about her first Christmas, her first stage debut and her first trip to that little church.

When I was young, I used to love to hear the story about the day I was born. It was a drought year, 100 degrees for days on end and a tough year for cattle. I was expected mid-July, but it was late August and my dad drove my mom over summer fallow fields in their old pickup to help induce labor.

But I came on my own time, in a small hospital in my hometown, delivered by an old Norwegian doctor with a thick accent. And when my dad held me for the first time, he looked out the window to find the sky had opened up and it was finally raining.

I don’t tell it as well as my parents do, because it isn’t my memory. But it is part of my story, a part that I loved to hear because it made me feel like my coming into this world had something to do with the long-awaited rain.

When I tell Edie the story of her birth, I will tell her how peaceful it was, arriving at the hospital in the early hours of the morning. I will tell her how she came to us quickly and without issue, and how I wailed a breath of relief and gratefulness when I heard her cry.

I will tell her how we got to take her home on Thanksgiving, which was fitting because we were the most thankful we’ve ever been, and so began weeks of an endless stream of guests, friends and family lining up at the door to meet her.

Watching all 20 or so children stand up in front of the church last Sunday to help tell the most famous birth story of all and seeing our tiny baby girl among them, I couldn’t help but think that each and every one of those children have their own special “coming into the world story” that they will hear year after year.

And some will hear about that day in church, about how she recited her lines as Mary perfectly, about how he ran down the aisle on a stick horse, the most gallant and swift 2-year-old king of all, about how he almost knocked the Advent candle over into the Christmas tree and about how only Baby Jesus No. 4 could get away with such a loud fart in church.

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Oh Christmas Card, Oh Christmas Card

Well, every year I go through it. The great Christmas Card debacle. 

Most years it’s because I can’t find one single photo of the two of us where I’m not making a strange face, wearing a weird hat or holding a drink not appropriate for the celebration of Christ’s birth.

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Last year the thought of another Christmas Card made me contemplative– sad for the things we lost and grateful for what we have.

This year with little Edie hanging out in her bassinet by the Christmas tree, you would think I would have jumped on the Christmas Card order right away, anxious to get the photos of our little bundle out to the world, announcing her arrival.

But it turns out she’s created another Christmas debacle entirely.

I mean.

How.

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Can.

I.

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Chose?


I spent two days taking photos of her and the next week staring at her when she’s awake, and when she’s sleeping or with her dad, I spend the rest of my time looking at photos of her.

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Finally I called in my husband to help me make a damn decision.

He was no help at all. Except he said he was going to sit there with me until I decided…until I made the damn order.

Because at the rate I was going we were going to miss the Easter card deadline.

Ah well, I’m happy as hell for this to be my hardest life decision as of late.

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I know things with a newborn can change on a dime, but so far, besides the cold her momma contracted in the second week, this kid has been nice and predictable, eating like a champ, packing on the pounds and pooping/burping/sleeping at the right times.

(Well, except for the few times she’s literally pooped in my hand…but I’ve learned my lesson…to give her a little space to grunt in out before going in).

So there’s that.

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And that’s pretty much all I’ve been doing…talking about pooping/burping/sleeping/eating…

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And welcoming all her visitors.

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Decorating the tree.

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And ordering gifts and supplies from Amazon.

Good thing my FedEx guy likes making this trip, because he’s been making it every day.

If anyone needs boxes, I’m your girl.

And if you need me, I’ll be in my sweatpants staring at my baby.

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Merry Christmas from our little family.

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The beauty in not knowing…

The thing about chronicling my life the way I have over the last several years, is that it gives me the opportunity to look back and recognize how things have changed.

Or haven’t changed.

And how far we’ve come.

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Last year at this time I was working on putting together a Christmas card and was struck by overwhelming feelings of being grateful and sad at the same time as I searched for a photo of my husband and I to send to relatives and friends, feeling a little sorry for us and a little pathetic.

Read the full post here: The Holidays, how they hold us and haunt us. 

I couldn’t help but realize that most couples our age were setting up photo shoots with their little ones, decorating Christmas trees and Christmas cookies together in a house filled with toys and bouncy seats and stuffed animals and putting elves on shelves or dressing the kids up for photos with Santa.

The holidays have always been a little rough for the two of us, as they are for anyone who has lost someone they love or has yet to start the family they’ve been dreaming about. With each passing year you wonder if it’s ever going to get easier…

I couldn’t have known last year at that time, when I picked out a photo of the two of us sitting on a cooler under the hot Montana summer sun, a little tipsy from a few beers, laughing and holding on to one another, that just a few months later I would call my husband into the bathroom to confirm that I wasn’t seeing things.

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That there were indeed, two pink lines.

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And you couldn’t have told us then, seeing those lines for the seventh time, that it would all work out this time. That on December 9th I would be picking out little bows and hats for our daughter’s first Christmas photo.

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I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me then, in the middle of my musings about being thankful but wanting, that if we just wait patiently, in one year we would be bundling up our almost two-week old, strapping her in her car seat in the back of the pickup for a drive around the ranch to pick out her first Christmas tree.

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Everything has changed, yet it feels so familiar to have this baby laying next to me in her bassinette as I write this. It feels just fine me holding my breath hoping she’ll give me just a few more minutes to finish up before she wakes up and is ready to eat.

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It feels like we were never without her…although we waited so long.

How could we have known?

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We could not.

To live with uncertainty is to live knowing that it could be tragic, but then, it could all turn out after all.

Sometimes it all works out after all.

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Sunday Column: What’s in a name

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When I wrote this column a few weeks ago, we were still waiting on the arrival of our baby. We didn’t know if we would be naming a boy or a girl, what her eyes would look like, what color her hair would be, the length of her toes or the squish of her nose or anything about her little spirit.

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So it seemed to me like a daunting task to pick out a name for a human we hadn’t yet me, although we had a name for a boy and a name for a girl picked out for years. We were prepared.

But I wasn’t prepared for it to fit so well. As soon as they handed me my baby girl, fresh out of the womb and onto my chest, her eyes were wide and looking, her lungs filled with air for a good wail, her arms and cheeks and legs filled out and the first thing that came to my mind was that this girl is fierce.

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When I held her in my arms those first few moments of her life, when she latched on for her first feeding, bare skin to bare skin, we were both wide awake and learning and somehow the confidence this little being exuded, her complete understanding about how to be a baby, seeped into my skin too and gave me courage. She knew what to do.

I knew what to do.

We were going to be just fine.

And sure as the sun, she was an Edie.

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She was going to live up to her name: Edith Elizabeth, but we would call her Edie. Edie is what we called my grandmother, a woman this baby could look up to. Her name would be a story she would hear about a cowgirl and a teacher and a woman who laughed with her whole body.

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A caretaker and a lousy housekeeper who would rather go along on a roundup or a cattle feed or a fence fixing outing than stay inside the house, although I heard she always had the coffee on and a snack or supper on hand for anyone who stopped by.

Little Edie will carve out her own story, go on her own cattle drives, grow up to cook in her own kitchen and have her own adventures, but I am so happy to give her the gift of a name with a history of a great woman who lived a good life on this ranch.

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And may she do the same.

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Coming Home: Parents challenged to find a name that sticks

by Jessie Veeder
11-29-15
Forum Communications
http://www.inforum.com

My grandmother’s name was Edith Evangaline Delores Linseth Veeder. My cousins and I used to sit in the back seat of her Oldsmobile while she drove us to town and sing her name out loud to the tune of “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,” amazed at how perfectly her names fit into the tune.

If she didn’t appreciate her gaggle of grandkids making sport of her name, loudly and on repeat for a half-hour as she tried to concentrate on the road, she didn’t let on. She just laughed and interrupted our jingle by telling us the story of how her sisters were each allowed to pick out a name for her when she was born.

Edith, Evangaline and Delores made the cut.

Naming kids in a family of twelve must have been a creative feat in its own right, so it made sense that her mother enlisted some help.

As my due date creeps up, the significance task of giving a child a name as an identity has been on the top of my mind.

And it’s not because my husband and I are wavering on selections or arguing over middle names. It’s quite the opposite. Since we’ve been trying to have a baby for so long, we’ve had names for our boy and girl picked out for years.

But the idea that a tiny, smushy, freshly made person will take his or her first breath and we’re charged with providing a forever name without knowing a thing about this kid, is a big commitment.

This coming from me, who tried to change my name to Stephanie when I was in kindergarten after a little boy named August raised his hand and asked to be called Gus.

His request gave me the impression that kindergarten is where we get to change our names. So I raised my hand and declared that everyone must now call me Stephanie.

My sweet teacher looked at me and calmly declared she thought Jessica was a nice name and I should keep it.

I was pretty disappointed. But little did I know that I wasn’t being so unique. About thirty percent of girls born in that time period were also named Stephanie. The other seventy percent were, in fact, also named Jessica.

The proof is found every time I sit in the waiting room at my doctor’s office. When the nurse comes out and calls for “Jessica” at least three of us, all in our late twenties or early thirties, stand up.The same scenario likely happens to the Stephanies of the world, but I bet that never happened to Edith Evangaline Delores Linseth Veeder.

Anyway, I found a middle ground when my family moved back to the ranch when I was in second grade and, struck with a sudden urge to shorten things up, I introduced myself to my new country school classmates as Jessie, and I’ve been Jessie every since.

When it comes to choosing nicknames, it seems my family has a long history of changing things up.

For instance, my dad, Gene, was named after his father, Eugene, who was called ‘Pete’ his entire life and Pete’s brother, Edgar, was known as ‘Lorraine’ until his dying day.

When I asked about this random re-naming process I was told it had to do with how the two real-life brothers, Eugene and Edgar, took after two fictitious brothers, Pete and Lorraine, in an old story somewhere. And so the boys were renamed.

Funny to think about the ways we fit our labels in the end. I was named after the woman in the movie “The Man from Snowy River” because my mom could see me arriving with a fiery spirit and dark, curly hair like the character. Turns out she sort of had a premonition about things.

I have my own premonitions about this baby, and after a strong and painful kick to the bladder that woke me up wailing last night, I feel like I need to start researching names of famous ninjas.

Because without seven kids already born and named before this child, it’s up to the two of us to provide this new human with a name worthy of singing…or, at the very least, a name that sticks.

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Welcome Home Baby!

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Edith (Edie) Elizabeth was born on Tuesday, November 24th at 11:50.

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Named after my grandmother (Edith) one of the best cowgirls and all around women I know and my mother (Elizabeth) one of the bravest, she came into this world proving to be the healthy, active, fierce being I thought she’d be at 8 pounds, 11 ounces and 21 1/4 inches long.

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As soon as she took her first breath in this world she opened her eyes and looked right into mine and if ever there was a life before she came into it, it was only to prepare me to be hers forever.

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Words have yet to be invented to describe what she is to us.

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Before she was born my neighbor, a cowboy who raised three girls up the road from us, told me that on her first breath it will feel like she was ours forever.

Like there was no life before her.

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He was right.

I was nervous to meet her. Nervous I wouldn’t know what to do.

I didn’t trust my instincts.

But we were sent a good one. She knows how to be a baby. I know how to be here momma. And we’re getting along just fine.

We made it through the birth and the welcoming crowd and the first feeding and the first poop and the first sleepless nights and the long drive home

and when we crossed the cattle guard on Thanksgiving day my husband said “Welcome home Edie baby, this is all yours.”

And I will never forget it.

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Welcome to your ranch Edie. We can’t wait to love you forever.

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