Today is Tuesday.

It started like this.

And ended like this.

And in between I wrapped my robe around me and cursed the blasted cold that came in with the blasted snow in a real-live and never unexpected spring blizzard, officially making April my least favorite month of the year, only because it’s turned into a merciless tease.

I mean, last night the temperature nearly dropped below zero and this morning my car groaned and moaned while it worked to turn over.

And when I finally got it all warmed up and pointed it toward town, I passed the creek next to the highway that was open and flowing on Sunday, welcoming the geese home by providing them a nice place to float. Today those geese were all tucked up in little balls on top of the frozen water, occasionally lifting their heads from under their wings to look at one another, tap the ice and say “what the hell?”

What the hell indeed, I said as I followed a truck for the remaining 20 miles as it dropped and flung dangerously large clumps of mud and rocks at my windshield, just tootling on his merry way.

But I didn’t get another rock chip. Not right then anyway and not that I would notice considering I’ve accumulated about a dozen or so on my journeys through the oil patch.

No, I saved the rock chip for the way home from Boomtown, where I saw a man walking down the street rocking a legit kilt and looking damn good doing it, which is something you just don’t see every day around here and that pretty much made my day so I didn’t really mind the rock chip that came next.

And so I made it home safe to make bacon for dinner, which is always a good idea, but then I had to deal with all of these strawberries, because in a delusional, Martha Stewart type moment last week I ordered eight pounds from the food co-op. But now I don’t know what to do with them, because it’s still too damn cold for rhubarb and the only thing I know how to make out of strawberries is strawberry-rhubarb jam and strawberry smoothies.

So unless someone from a warmer climate wants to send me some rhubarb, it looks like I’ll be having strawberry smoothies until next fall.

And I was just about to sit down with one, maybe add a few swigs of peach schnapps and turn on some mind-enriching television programming, when Husband informed me of his plans to build a fireplace, beginning at approximately 8:30 pm and that I should get my mortaring jeans on because it’s happening.

So I did, because I want to get this house done more than I want a smoothie. I mean, I can have like twenty smoothies tomorrow.

But it took like a half-hour for Husband to find his trowel and another half-hour to figure out how to get the T.V. off the wall and another half-hour to decide we were missing some essential supplies, so Husband decided that was enough progress for the night and now my coffee table looks like this:

and my living room looks like this:

and Husband left me sitting on the couch watching a History Channel special series on Hell while he got in the shower, leaving the remote out of my reach, and now I’m kinda getting scared considering that it’s 11:00 already and I’m deep into a lesson about the devil and how he could return to earth one day.

So, yeah…

that was Tuesday.