Bringing the horses home.

Posted on September 23, 2010 by Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

One of the things I am trying to do here is give you a glimpse into this colorful, peaceful (well, except for the cats), muddy, middle of nowhere life we lead. So hang out for a second and I’ll take you on a ride dad and I took the other day to bring the horses home.

Right now we have 6 1/2 horses (the 1/2 being the horse part of the mule…so technically we also have 1/2 a donkey…is that confusing?).

Anyway, my dad has an obsession with horses like I have an obsession with, well…every animal. So at any given time he will be training from 1 to 4 young horses. I got in on the action when I was growing up. This usually involved me on the back of a green horse during the summer when dad was at work, riding out in the open space in the heat of the day. One of three things would more than likely occur:

1) I would get bucked off and horse would run away, leaving me pissed, bruised and walking my sorry butt home.

2) Horse would run back to the barn while teenage version of myself (think Olive Oyl: arms and legs flailing) would remain in the saddle, yanking and yelling “hoe, hoe, hoe” (that’s what we say around here to get a horse to stop…get your mind out of the gutter).

3) All would go perfectly well, causing me to trust a little too much, which would, in turn, lead to item 1 or 2 occurring on the next ride.

So, when you have all these horses, you need to ride a lot to keep them nice and trained and in good shape. That is why you see lots of pictures of us riding out in the hills and not so many of us chasing cows. Because when we are strolling out in the pastures, I have lots of time to take pictures of my beautiful surroundings.When we are chasing cows, apparently shit can hit the fan at any given time and I am expected to pay attention. In order to avoid more accidents than I normally create without distraction, I leave the camera at home.

Maybe someday I will learn to multi-task and then you will see some pictures of cows.

Anyway, I promised you a ride with me, not an explanation of my shortcomings, so here we go…

Some views from the clay buttes in the horse pasture…

I love how the sky looked that day and the way these trees stick out on the horizon along the road…also, I think after walking a good mile, this is where I realized I wouldn’t be finding these hiding horses on foot…

So my dad came over on Tucker and brought me a horse from his place and off we went…

We didn’t find the horses yet, but did see this spotted fawn, just standing as still as he could, watching us as we passed by. I got as close as I could to him and then he spooked, revealing his brother who was laying, invisible, in the brush below him. Adorable.

Dad took the camera. He thought there needed to be some pics of me in my flannel and dorky vest on Stormy. Oh, and I skipped the saddle, which was impressing him. He thought I was getting too old for daring adventure. Not so I say Pops. Not so!

Some of the trees are turning gold, but my favorite are the splashes of red you see in the brush…

We watched a couple deer on the sidehill and then waited for them to run up and look at us from the horizon. The cowboy’s always hunting…

Again, the sky that evening was killing me…it was like the big man was pulling the fluffy covers up over us, getting us all warm and snuggled down before the cold season.

Found ’em. When horses see each for the first time out in the open hills, they get excited and whinny and neigh and sniff and snort and cause all sorts of dramatic scenes.

Oh, Colonel, aren’t you a gorgeous boy? Yeah, he knows it.

Let’s go boys (and mule…).

I taught them to line up like that. Horse whisperer? If you believe it, it must be true.

I think this is dad’s shot of the barn. Nice skills Pops.

This is what your butt looks like after sitting on a horse’s bare back for an hour…sexy…

These are horses who expect treats for good behavior…

And this is home.

On a totally separate topic, I saw this spider the other day on my walk “off road” with my momma. This spider was huge, and he was fastening his bib and sharpening his knives, getting ready to have a delicious butterfly for supper.

I guess I think he’s beautiful, in a creepy, arachnid sort of way. I came home to tell husband and this is what he said…

“Where did you see this?”

“I dunno, somwhere along the road.”

“No, exactly where did you see this?”

“Why?”

“So I can be sure to never go there.”

Husband hates spiders…bwahahahaahaa!

A cup of coffee and a change of weather.

Posted on September 22, 2010 by Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Ok, ok. I had my little hissy fit yesterday, you know, about summer leaving. I have always be proud of the fact that I accept change, welcome it with open arms, persuade it to occur really more often than I should…but I admit, I always have a hard time letting go of the sunshine season.

But let’s move on. Because (after the snow melted) it is truly spectacular out here. Maybe I have a super hero nose (it is rather large), but I think each season has its own distinct scent…I swear I can smell the fall coming in the musty, damp waft of leaves falling to the earth and turning to dirt. When I step outside today, even after a raging, uncharacteristic thunderstorm this early morning, I breathe in the crisp air and it is like this world that surrounds me has cleaned up and started over once again. I suck in and feel the cool wind on my face and I am taken back to the first day of school, football games in town in my new jacket, chasing cattle to the reservation line and spitting plum pits at my little sister as she kicks her pony along.

What is it about us North Dakotans and our obsession with the weather? I ask this all the time. I walked into the local Cenex in town yesterday, the one that used to be a little diner called the “Chuckwagon” when I was growing up, and there sat my Great Uncle sipping coffee with his boys, talking about the crops and the cattle and kids these days and, of course, the weather.

Cue another flashback and ode to old times: because there he was, my Great Uncle, a few years older, with less mud on his boots from having moved into town years ago. He was sitting in the same building with the same group of men with whom, at well past 70, he has had coffee with nearly all his adult life. And as he talks crops and takes a dip of Copenhagen and laughs, just as he always has, while offering me a pinch, around him the world is changing.

His once regular table where he would order the pie of the day is now a “Hot Stuff Pizza.” And instead of sitting down next to him for my own slice (or chocolate ice cream with chocolate sprinkles,) like I would have done 20 years ago when I came to town with my gramma, I said a quick hello, gave them a smile and ordered my coffee on the run.

And outside the window in this once sleepy town the high-school kids are driving up and down main street, just like they always have, but this time with fast, flashy cars and cell phones, weaving in and out of the constant wave of truck traffic that has swept in with the second coming of oil to this area. An industry my uncle has watched boom and bust and boom again outside this very same window.

Across the street, he has seen his favorite hardware store change hands, close down, open up again and get a face-lift. He has enjoyed his last movie for a nickel and then waited years and years until he could see one again on Main Street…for $6.99.

He’s watched as the storeowners have wrapped gifts for his wife in dozens of different boutiques, in the same three buildings, and has purchased new-to-him pickups to take him to and from his farmstead thirty miles away. He has watched his children play sports and move out and have children of their own, who he has watched sing in the school concert, ride horses, get their first big buck, and their first job and move on and out and back to this once sleepy town.

And he takes that pickup to coffee every morning.

Yes, this is dramatic stuff, this cycle of life. Watching my uncle smile the same smile behind modern glasses in his remodeled and repurposed coffee joint, I think I am beginning to understand what it is about the weather…

…Imagine your lives here, in the middle of the mid-west, where one day it is sunny and the crops are thriving and the next day a hail storm wipes your heart and work out in a blink as you stand helplessly looking out your back screen door, powerless to change the outcome. Imagine standing in water up to your waist, carrying calves through a flash flood to dry ground, giving all of your energy and passion to save your animals. Or, after a severe spring storm, taking a newborn calf into your basement and warming it by the fire to save the fragile life. Imagine the most beautifully, unexpected spring day where you skip work to go fishing. Imagine losing someone you love on the road in the grip of an ice storm. Imagine waiting for the rain to stop to get your crop out before the snow flies…and the rain just turns to flurries…

And all the while, with each coming fall, your children are one year older, one year away from starting a new life…and with each drop of a leaf, gust of wind, and change of season, one more laugh line appears, one more year of work and sacrifice and special movie dates in town is gone.

So weather–this is how we talk about life here. This is how we talk about the hard stuff, the new stuff, the stuff that makes us crazy and lonesome and completely and utterly blissful. The stuff that puts the gray in our hair and the wedding dress on our daughters and the grandchildren in our arms. The stuff that makes us lose and gain and lose again…

Because nothing stays the same, nothing is for sure here, nothing is certain….nothing…

Except a good cup of coffee and a change of weather…

Listen to Heroes Proved, a song I wrote about change in the rural lifestyle.

Summer, I miss you already…

Posted on September 21, 2010 by Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

In honor of the last day of summer (sniff, sniff…waahhhhh), I decided to share some of the photos that speak to the sunny side of life at the ranch and are sure to warm you like the wool mittens and ear-flap cap that will soon become a fashionable staple of my wardrobe.

I am sure I will be revisiting these pictures many times in the coming months, because come December, I tend to forget…

…what colors really look like…

…the smoky taste of brats and beans on a tiny grill…

…the warm wind in my face (or the fact that one day, I will be able to drive with the windows down again)…

…the sweet smell of wildflowers…

…the thrill of the first splash in big Lake Sakakawea…

…well, maybe “thrilling” isn’t the word of choice for all of us…

…the drama of the horizon…

…and the true meaning of “dog days”…

Enjoy the last day of the season everyone. I think I’ll celebrate by wearing my swimming suit and short shorts under my long pants, flannel and fluffy socks. Then I’ll eat some cookies. Lots and lots of cookies….

Goodbye summer…I miss your face already.

Sniff, sniff…

“Sneeeek….Sneeeeeeeek….” “Shhhhhh…”

Posted on September 20, 2010 by Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

It’s hunting season here. Well, bow hunting season to start it off. So I’ve lost husband for the evenings from now until, well, I don’t know, I must blank out when we talk about these things…I think until at least Christmas. But I could be wrong.

If you haven’t figured this out yet, I will tell you something about husband…he is a patient, patient man. So naturally, he is good with the whole bow hunting sport, which requires a lot of quiet, and sneaking, and waiting and analyzing animal patterns in the unpredictable fall weather. He is particularly enthused about the sport this season because:

we are living in the deer’s backyard and
he saw some of those deer on a cow chasing ride the other day…and they had grown some really….big….horns….(or antlers, I think I am supposed to say antlers)

So this week husband has come home after a hard day’s work and…

….hello wife…goodbye wife…goodnight wife…

And the cycle continues.

Husband loves hunting season. And I love husband. So sometimes I go along.

Truth is I actually hunt too. With a gun. But it’s the kind of hunting that involves one of the men in my life helping quite a bit…help getting my license, lending me a gun, loading the gun, picking out my camouflage shirt and placing the blaze orange Elmer Fudd hat on my head (which, by the way is not my color) and shoving my once warm and cozy ass out of our backdoor and into the innocent, unsuspecting wilderness.

And for the record, I’m a damn good shot, no matter the outfit.

Proof with one of my bucks (and dad). I removed the blaze orange hat for photographic purposes.

But I love hunting. I do. I love traipsing around in the crisp air, treading lightly on the earth and blending in with my surroundings. Because in those moments (you know, when you resemble a tree) if you do it right, you really see it. When you are forced to be unbelievably still (either by free will, or because husband continues to calmly “shush” you) and when your state is unobstructed by cell phones dinging, The Bachelor on television, or that damn laundry, you give yourself a gift really.

While you focus on the quiet part, you notice how the hawks circle, you spot a porcupine perched in a tree, you can hear the bumble bees swarming in a nearby patch of fall flowers, just hanging on tight to life before the winter sets in. When you are paying attention to silence, you are also, thankfully, paying attention enough to not sit on that cactus, really hear the wind in the trees, and… oh look at those beautiful red fall leaves, and the geese, and the way the sun is setting, giving way to the moon…oh, I need my camera…

…beep, beep, click…

Shhhhh…..

Oh, yeah. We’re hunting deer here…

When you remain completely still and don’t use your typical “sneaking” sound effects, e.g.: “…sneeeeeek, sneeeeeeekeeekkeeeee, sneeeek….” you notice how the deer graze in the open spots and move and bed down and spook at the slightest crack or pop of a twig or, you know…sound effect.

Ooops. Oh deer…

In my defense, I wasn’t a total distraction on my inaugural bow hunt this year (I didn’t wear my “swishy” pants this time). I mean, I kept it together enough to get close to some really beautiful creatures, but I had my fair share of coffee that afternoon, didn’t remember the lunch thing, and forgot that “crisp fall weather” means wear some long underwear. So unfortunately, my growling stomach and shivering cut our hunt short of the necessary “witching hour.”

I was wearing the exact same thing. Just hanging back, blending in...

And I felt a little bad, because I’m usually a trooper. Really, I was raised following behind the footprints of my father, in snow up to my armpits, chasing after the majestic beasts that he had been scoping out all season. I have been in on some really intense, really successful, really invigorating hunts. And I’m sure I will be again, that is, if I’m ever invited back.

So on our way home, when I was staring at the ground (instead of the horizon) and thinking about how I could get Chinese food delivered to the middle of nowhere, I apologized to patient husband for my apathetic, non-sportsmanlike, non-intense behavior. I apologized for the giggling, the sneeze, the sneaking sound and the un-authorized camera click.

And after all of my rambling, I was reminded of the spirit of the sport when husband turned to me and said:

“I’m just glad you came with me. I am glad to have you here”

Awwwww….the words of true sportsman. Or a man looking to secure many, many more hunting trips, to which I say, “wishes granted.”

So, I might not be a bow hunter yet, but I am working on it…

And in my defense, it is a little difficult to focus on the hunt when I am surrounded by such beauty…don’t you think?

Happy hunting.

September…with frosting?

Posted on September 18, 2010 by Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

So, it was cold today. And I should have known after putting on my third long sleeved shirt (you know, over the other two) that something was up.

I don’t mind the chill that comes with the fall season here and find it a little thrilling that in this part of the country it can go from 85 degrees to 45 in 24 hours. It keeps us on our toes.

So I was looking forward to taking in the fall colors, enjoying the brisk (although brief) sweater season that comes before puffy coat, mitten and face mask season. But nature had a little surprise this afternoon–a little frosting before the leaves have even fully changed.

Outside my kitchen window...brrr...

Now for those of you who don’t live in North Dakota, just a disclaimer: this is not typical. But it is not unexpected.

So we took the air conditioning out of the window and I went outside to take some pictures of the things that, like me, may not quite be ready for the fluffy white stuff.

And now I’m making a casserole (you know, the kind with all of the “cream ofs” added in) in celebration of the first snow flurry and the fact that it has already melted.

The pug’s holding on to hope for 80 degrees tomorrow…

May all his dreams come true.

Happy fall!

Crazy (insert animal) lady…

Posted on September 16, 2010 by Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

So I am officially crazy. Or have gone crazy. Or maybe I was there already.

Yeah, I think that’s it.

Because in this tiny house lives two humans, two dogs, probably a million spiders, a couple mice I’m sure, and now, two cats.

Well, kittens for now, but someday too soon they will become cats. And that is the problem with kittens.

But I needed them. You know, because of the alleged mice. And they are supposed to be barn cats. When I entered into this agreement with the previous possessors of the kittens, this was the plan. Out to the barn.

Well…they have been here for two weeks, living wild, bouncing off furniture, hanging from the curtains, running from the pug, jumping on the pug, scratching at the carpet, and today I caught one on the inside of my partially open window, making his merry little way up the screen. Yes, they have been here, in all their grey striped, fur-ball, squeaky, jumpy, frantic and dare I say charming and completely loveable ways…and they have yet to see the inside of that barn.

See I claim to be a dog person and have stood my ground on this for a long enough time, but here, friends, is my confession. I am not a dog person. I am not a cat person. I am not a hamster person. I am just a plain, downright, head over heals, stupidly obsessed, animal person.

And the proof is in my colorful past spent catching, finding, taming and raising ridiculous creatures. Yes, I had the occasional cow puppy who I would take over and try to train to do everything but chase cows (which turns out to be the only things cow dogs are really good at, besides eating poop). I had pups that bit my little sister’s ankles, pups that never learned to fetch and pups that would come and lick my face when I would try to get them to pull me on my sled. I even had a runt puppy that made it into an elementary school play dressed in a tutu.

Yeah, I did that to him

Of course there were horses (although we don’t really consider them pets), and the occasional bottle-fed calf that would be fun and cute until it was big enough to escape the fence and chase me home, nudging and knocking me over as I ran for my life doing everything it could to get the last drop of milk out of the bottle I stupidly still clenched in my hands. No, I was not his mother, but I could never convince the calf of that.

But my love for the non-human did not end with my furry friends. No, I did not discriminate. I spent much of my childhood searching for and trying to capture frogs and salamanders living in the creeks behind our house. I also had a couple of pet turtles that had brief stays in mom’s crock pot (for a cage, not for soup) and one snake our hired man found in the yard.

And then there were the lizards. All six of them. The kind that would change from brown to green. So cool. No, I didn’t have all six at once, just one unfortunate lizard soul at a time, each one a replacement for the previous lizard that died a mysterious death before; each death a little blow to my tender, animal loving heart and each death over analyzed:

“Perhaps it was the giant wasp I tried to feed him?”

“Maybe it was the cat?” (those damn cats)

“Maybe it was old age, I mean how do you tell the age of a lizard? That must be it.”

“Maybe mom shouldn’t have left the terrarium out in the sun on a 90 degree day while I was away at Bible Camp (and then try to trick me with a replacement lizard. I was at Bible Camp for crying out loud!)”

Oh, and I almost forgot about the baby goat, Filipe, who wasn’t really mine, but a baby…errr…goat sitting project during Christmas break when I was eleven. Nevertheless, I put him in diapers and took photos of him under the Christmas tree.

I am pretty sure they enjoyed this...but I can't quite tell...

Anyway, all of these critter experiences were little lessons for me about death and self-control and frustration management and the fact that it is a miracle if you can get anything to listen to you (especially when it comes to pulling you in a sled), you bring it home, you feed it and life generally doesn’t turn out as planned.

Hence the cats.

Oh, we had cats when we were growing up too, but I try to blame that on my sisters, especially when I reveal to those who show any kind of interest all of the incredibly random names we gave them…I mean, we had a cat named Belly who had kittens that we respectfully named Button (get it?) and Head. Really not quite sure about that one.

But the truth is, I really loved cats too. So much so that when I was in diapers, and had yet to learn my own strength, I would pick up the kittens my grandma would bring in from the barn (where they are supposed to live) and love them so much that, unsupervised, I would literally squeeze them until they puked.

I wouldn’t believe this either, but unfortunately I was born after cameras were invented.

Poor kitties.

Anyway, luckily I have grown up into a non-sadistic, animal loving adult (I am sure my parents were worried there for a bit) and I haven’t squeezed these kitties to death yet. I think I can control myself. But I am not sure what I am going to do about the four animals in the house thing. I am eating my words for making fun of my sister for her four cats. I am not sure who is crazier here.

But they have made their home. They have found their little nooks and crannies and favorite blankets to curl up on. They chase each other around the coffee table, they purr when I pick them up. They lick my toes. They dart around after little glints of light and bask in the sunspots that shine through the windows.

Even the pug loves them, although it might be because they are so good at hide and seek, but he is appreciative enough to let them have his spot on the couch and that is serious business. And the lab doesn’t mind as long as they leave his tail alone.

I think this is where he developed his annoyance--with our first attempt at a house cat...see how she's going right for the tail.

So what’s a girl like me to do? I am an adult now and know better, but the truth is, these animals I surround myself with make me feel…

…calm on a crazy day and crazy on a morning when I’m running late and one of them puked…frustrated when all of my screams will not succeed in getting the lab to cease in chasing after the deer he will never catch…completely enthusiastic about inanimate objects like sticks and Frisbees…absolutely disgusted when what goes in must come out–on the living room floor…totally relaxed on a winter’s evening with a good book and a fur ball at my feet…absolutely loved when I come home to slobbery, jumping, balls of energy who couldn’t be happier in any other moment….and human for knowing that no matter what, these are just animals and they will never be able to tell me if my ass does indeed look big in these jeans.

So I think I’ll keep those kitties in the house a while longer, if only to make up for the ones I may have squeezed too hard. Besides, they need a few more good meals before they go out on their big mouse hunt…you know, in the barn…

Meow.

Our wild backyard (no mowing necessary)

Posted on September 8, 2010 by Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

100

I have a pretty awesome backyard. It won’t make Better Homes and Gardens and no one will be calling me up for tips on how to get my grass so green or my flower garden so colorful and free of weeds. There will never be a plan to install a water feature with those fancy fish or a walking path made of perfectly smooth river stones. There will be cow poop and there will never be a white picket fence.

But your backyard might have one. Your yard may have the neighbors swooning and strolling by slowly as they walk their lap dogs or bike ride with their children. It might be the perfect spot for a BBQ complete with margaritas and a big umbrella over your table. You probably grow the most pristine daisies along your immaculately placed paving stones. Better Homes and Gardens is more than likely dialing your number right now.

And that’s pretty awesome too.

I do enjoy a good yard, no matter the condition, especially in the summer. So this weekend I ventured out a bit from the red gravel road to take in some of the big back yard that we all share, and it turned out that our lawn, the one we co-own, hadn’t been mowed either, so I didn’t feel so bad about mine.

For those of you who live in North Dakota, you have probably heard of the Maah Daah Hey Trail. If you haven’t, well I’m going to tell you about it, because it is where I tested my cowgirl, girl scout, Pilates, camp cook, photographer and reptile handler skills this Labor Day weekend. (Because we don’t get enough “middle of nowhere” out here in my little house in the hills the other five days of the week.)

In a nutshell, the Maah Daah Hey is a 125-mile multi-use trail, which stretches throughout public land in the Badlands of North Dakota from the North Unit of the Theodore Roosevelt National Park near Watford City to the South Unit near Medora. This well-groomed, well-marked, gorgeous trail sweeps in and out of the clay buttes, winding across the valleys, crossing rivers and streams, cutting up the sides of steep cliffs and meandering through the trees. Even experienced in pieces (which is what we did for two days) this trail is not for wusses.

We chose to take the trail the good old-fashioned way, via the back of a trusty horse. Just a side note here to those wild men and women who think that taking a pedal bike out for a stroll through this rugged, unforgiving, majestic country is a good idea—may sweet Jesus be with you.

Anyway, the public has been enjoying this trail officially since 1995, but its name is taken from the Mandan Indian phrase meaning “an area that has been or will be around for a long time.” Which is fitting, because it has been said that this trail actually has been around for hundreds of years, serving as a trade route for the American Indians. So the Maah Daah Hey, I think, is and has been a true gift to those of us who wish to experience and exist in an untamed, unsettled, wild as the wind adventure out in the backcountry where it is not uncommon to ride for a day and not see another human soul (but a couple that belong to beasts).

And for those of you who prefer not to venture out of the fence and mowed lawn, it sure photographs nice and looks lovely hanging above a mantle in a pretty frame.

But there is nothing like being out in it really. Nothing.

With my crew of three pretty great wilderness guys (husband, dad, father-in-law), four horses that were lucky enough to prove themselves worthy of the climb, several bottles full of water, lunches pre-packed and labeled with names (because I give the people what they want), necessities like knives, matches, band-aids and, of course, toilet paper, we hit the trail that starts at Bennett Creek Camp and ends up there again.

And in those twelve miles that took us and our necessities past unaware deer grazing in a brush patch, out in the open to spook a lone coyote in the sage, over an unsuspecting, and rather angry rattlesnake in our path, down low to photograph the purple flowers growing unpredictably out of the hard, baked clay, and up high to see it all from a distance, I couldn’t think of any place I’d rather be.

We plodded along for a few miles, snapping photos, basking in the scenery, chatting about previous rides, catching up. And then our voices silenced, our horses fell in line, and we were quiet for a while, alone with our thoughts for a few miles, bodies moving with the rhythm of the animals underneath us.

We got off to stretch our legs and walked the horses up steep cliffs, we took moments to let our mounts splash and dunk their noses in the creeks. We pushed on toward camp, letting the trail and markers guide us.

Even as I stretched my kinked back after nearly 7 hours in the saddle, my bony ass aching and my ankles stiff as we rounded the final mile back to camp, I couldn’t help but feel extremely fortunate to be breathing this wild air, without a sound or a footprint that didn’t belong there.

And my hope in the human race was restored a bit when we got back to camp to find that there was a multitude of others, in tents, in campers, in extravagant RVs, who were looking for the same connection with this land. I will admit at first I was a bit disappointed that we didn’t have the campsite to ourselves, as if we were the only ones allowed this little piece of heaven, the only ones who deserved this quiet and solitude in which I get to live every day.

But then I came to my senses. Because I have been blessed with a backyard full of these wild things. My family has lived happily without immaculate lawns and flower gardens untouched by hungry critters. We have given up late night trips to the market and the option of take out when we don’t want to cook in order to be able to exist and live in a natural and somewhat untamed environment. We sweep our floors a little more, we swat more flies, we see more mice (and an occasional raccoon may or may not have entered my parent’s home and rearranged the décor), but that is a small price to pay for the quiet simplicity of country living. We have been blessed.

So where on earth did I think the white picket fence people go to get away from it all when they don’t have a place like ours to run to? Where do they go when the constant stream of suburban life has reached its limit for the month? Where did I think the girls with horses locked in stalls go to ride like the wind? Where do the dads bring their sons to teach them to build a fire, use a pocketknife, shoot a bow? Where do the mammas take their daughters to teach them the names of the wild animals and flowers? Where do ranchers, and daughters of ranchers go to take in the beauty of a different landscape without the distraction of fences that need fixing and hay that needs moving? Where do husbands go to reconnect with their strength and hardy instincts?

There has to be places like this for us. They must exist for us to stay human.

So as we watered and fed the horses, put up our tents, grilled our pork (and the angry rattlesnake), built the campfire, cracked open a beverage and settled in for the night, I took a moment to look around at my fellow campers who drove for hundreds of miles, from Omaha, Dallas, Minneapolis, Chicago, Fargo and even just down the road from Watford City, to exist for a few days in a place that looks the same as it did when our ancestors hunted whitetail and jackrabbits for supper, drank from the river, used the strong back of a horse to get a day’s work done and walked to get somewhere (because they definitely weren’t crazy enough to try it on a bike).

And I smiled, because there we all were, looking up at the same sky glistening with the same stars that have been hanging there for a million years in a landscape that has been soaked in the swamp, beaten by the wind, cut by glaciers, baked in the sun and battered by the water to form a world that is simply marvelous really.

A marvelous, breathtaking, ruthless, wild, wonderful backyard.

Simply untamable–just like us, it turns out.

And it’s all ours neighbors! Now go out and live in it.

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In honor of the ride in beautiful country, I thought I’d share my version of a couple classics. Enjoy! Red River Valley Medley

For more information about the Maah Daah Hey trail, or to contribute to the project, visit the Maah Daah Hey Trail Association Website at www.mdhta.com

*Oh, and a quick note about the Mountain Biking thing, for those of you who like that sort of thing 🙂 The International Mountain Biking Association (IMBA) recognized the Maah Daah Hey with their most prestigious award, the IMBA Epic Ride of 2001. In addition, a national women’s sports magazine named the Maah Daah Hey Trail among their top 18 outside sport destinations in the country. So go get ’em, I just won’t be joining you until I get that gym membership I haven’t been talking about…

I Googled “Jelly Making”

Posted on September 1, 2010 by Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

So in between my first month of employment back at the ranch, turning 27, planning a vacation with my friends, drinking entirely too much red wine, losing my wallet, not doing the laundry, frolicking in the hills, not mowing the lawn, making dried wreathes and crappy dinners for my husband, trying to get through a painfully boring book and painting my toenails bright pink, I have been canning.

And it turns out the age-old art it is nothing in real life like was is in my head.

As most of you know, this has been the summer of every North Dakotan’s dreams. The moisture and sunshine have been taking turns nicely, which has enticed the berries on every wild bush out here to grow big and bright. So husband and I decided that this bountiful, juicy, beautiful fruit simply could not go to waste and, between the two of us, we should be able to figure out how to get it into some syrupy, jelly, sugary delicious form. It couldn’t be that hard, could it?

It all started off innocently, like a scene from a Laura Ingalls Wilder novel (minus the prairie dresses and berry buckets and add cheap sunglasses, tank tops and plastic bags from Target). Husband and I, jelly on our minds, roamed the hills together scoping out the best place to pick chokecherries and plums, talking dreamily about the tips we have received from generous relatives and friends about the best way to make the jelly gel, the syrup sweet, the jars seal and how not to poison yourself and every innocent victim that receives our canned goods as a Christmas gift.

Our first berry hunt however, turned up nothing. We scoured all of my familiar places on the ranch…you know, where I used to pick plums and spit the pits at my sister, but it seemed the deer had the same idea we had about the sweet fruit–only a couple days before us. I am sure their jelly tastes good. Wonder if they have any tips.

Anyway, it didn’t matter much because with husband taking the rifle along for target practice and me with my camera obsession, we lost our focus somewhere between me taking photos of the last wildflowers and him shooting their heads off.

We tried again a few days later and did manage to come up with quite the crop, but that was after swatting away crow sized mosquitoes, a weird tan line, one lost husband (or maybe I was lost…that was never resolved really) and multiple bloody cuts on hands and elbows from the bushes that grow thorns as well as plums (which is, in my opinion, an unnecessary form of protection for a plant)

And so we trudged home with our loot, very gratified and very excited about the bounty that these little berries were about to produce.

I thought about really getting after it….

But there they sat, in the plastic bag for a good three to five days, while I procrastinated.

I wasn’t sure why I chose to wait so long to tackle an activity that I have always wanted to master. And as it turned out, I had all of the stuff. All of the required tools my grandmother used to can her world famous jellies and syrups and tomato soup and pickles was still packed neatly in a cupboard in the basement, waiting for the next canning season—a season that had been skipped in this house for nearly sixteen years.

So I was determined to break the streak, no matter how intimidating words like “pectin” and “pressure cooker” and “lid bands” were to me. I was going to figure this thing out. Without any help. Just like the old days!

And it was going to be so calming, this process. I visualized husband and I in our cozy kitchen, sorting through our crop, laughing and talking about our hopes and dreams. I imagined him stirring the juices in a big pot as I added the necessary ingredients–the kind of loving and cheese ball teamwork you see in between the covers of a Better Homes and Gardens Magazine.

That was the plan anyway. Until I realized that perhaps the Pod People in BHGM don’t have parties to plan, bills to pay, jobs and, you know, have probably done this sort of thing before.

So I Googled “Jelly Making” and shit hit the fan.

Because you know all those helpful people that were giving husband and I advice about something they have been doing for years and years with grammas and old aunts and sisters and maybe even a Betty Crocker style male role model? Yeah, well there are a lot of those helpful people on the Internet.

A LOT!

And they all have something different to say.

I started to sweat.

My berries were picked. They were sorted through. I had my pots and pans, I had my jars and lids, I had my pectin and sugar, I had my spoons and strainers. I had a good two hours to devote to this…

I had a nervous breakdown.

And after a good hour and a half (just short of my allotted time frame) of verbally abusing myself and husband, the loving man sent me to bed.

Like literally sent me to bed. No joke, he said “You. Go to bed. Now.”

So I did.

The next day, after a strong cup of coffee and an apology, I hunkered down and asked for advice from a trusted source.

And you know what that advice was? Just read the directions in the packet of Sure Jell.

So I did. When husband was gone, I turned off all forms of distraction, stood in the kitchen in my bare feet, prepared my lids, put the juice and sugar and pectin in a pot and stirred and stirred and stirred over my grandmother’s stove in my grandmother’s kitchen.

And she, my gramma, must have been in that house, in that kitchen with me that afternoon. She must have been balancing her berry strainer, holding the spoon, timing the boil, whispering in my ear when to remove it from the heat and letting me know just how much hot liquid to pour in the jars. She had to have been there, making up for lost time, because it came together somehow. I let go and she took over and it all came together (without injury) into sugary, sweet, perfectly purple plum jelly lined up on her counter in a neat little row.

I took a step back, hands on my hips after the work was done, and I was damn proud.

Then a little sad.

And in that moment it occurred to me why it has taken me so long, why this is an art I haven’t attempted.

Because there were people I could call, friends and family I could ask to come over and help me, really good cookbooks I could trust. But I didn’t want them–I didn’t want to trust those pages, those people. .

This was her art…her kitchen…her tools.

I wanted her.

And she had been there all along.

The Sun–Vegas Style.

Posted on August 25, 2010 by Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

I am obsessed with the evenings, especially in the summer. After a long, hot day working or playing in the sun (or just watching it bake the landscape out your open office window), the sun that you thought might hang happily in the sky forever has been slowly creeping down the other side of the world while you talked on the phone, shoveled dirt, sped happily along the highway or slept the day away.

I imagine the sun feels under appreciated during this time of year, especially in North Dakota. So when it’s finally time to hit the horizon, it goes down with drama and flair, accessories shining, hair coifed for a night on the town saying: “Hey, don’t take this for granted people…I’m going on vacation in a month and you will miss this hot mess then!”

But I don’t take it for granted. In fact, I am filled with guilt on a beautiful night in the summer if I am not out there in it, soaking it up, breathing in the calm air in the cool valleys if the ranch, and climbing to the top of the hills to watch the sun put on his Vegas style show. And each time the summer sun sets out here I quickly re-hash my day, counting all of the ways I really lived it…all of the ways I frolicked and smiled and sweat and basked in the rays. It’s almost as if I am collecting these perfect summer days in order to seal them tight in a jar on my desk so I can use them later, you know, like on one of the cold days we have around here.

So I am thinking about these days of summer, and all of the sunsets I have witnessed from the top of the buttes. Especially today. Because today is August 25th, the first day of school and my birthday (in case anyone was waiting for it), which always signals for me, really, the last day of summer. The days are getting shorter, the nights cooler, the clover and the wildflowers that were so lush are drying out, the wild berries dropping from their stems.

North Dakotans everywhere have made and lived their final vacation plans and filed away their summer photos. The kids of summer traded swimsuits and jeans with worn out knees for fresh school clothes and were forced by their loving parents at 7 am this morning to stand up against the front door (eye crusties, freshly washed hair and clean, new backpacks in tow) for a final farewell-to-summer photo that will be used against poor child in every slideshow of their life to come. The first of many organized mortifying moments to occur this year.

So since I am not of school age anymore (my 27th birthday reminding me of this today as I got out of bed, looked in the mirror and my hair still looked like a lion’s mane, but with a few grays poking through) I decided, last night, to make my own farewell-to-summer slideshow.

And the sun must have noticed my camera, because what a show it was. He pulled out all the stops as his light reflected off prairie grasses, creating a sparkle, a shine, on each stem. He cast long, dramatic, shadows along the hillsides and off the bodies of beasts. He turned the trees black, gave the clover one last shot at bright yellow and painted the sky orange, then pink, then a dark, dark, blue, then all of those colors combined. He was in such form even the coyotes stood on the hills and the deer came out of the brush to lend their applause.

And even with all of the frills, the sun is generous at the end of the day, especially when the moon has gone to the trouble of putting on his party pants. So after the fireworks and the spectacle he created, the sun turned the lights down low, calmed the wind, made everything dead quiet, and left with a whisper.

And all eyes were on the moon.

Happy end of summer kids and parents and people like me. Hope it has gone out with the style and fashion of the sun.

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Cheers to a new season and a new outfit!

There’s nothing wilder…

Posted on August 19, 2010 by Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

There is something about a girl and a horse.

Yeah, boys have their toys with wheels, their guns, their tools, their dogs and they look noble and masculine (and a bit like a western movie if they’ve got the outfit right) on the back of the beautiful beasts….

But it’s not the same.

I was reminded of this phenomenon this week when my twelve-year-old cousin from The Cities (yeah, we’re in Western ND, so even though Minneapolis/St. Paul is an excruciating 600 plus miles to the east, those are our cities ok…) came to visit the ranch for the first time (without her two brothers). My cousin is a fiery, sweet, smart redhead who has spent much of her childhood on the pavement giving all of that animal loving heart to her declawed cat who moves, like city cats do, throughout their beautiful home from sunny spot to sunny spot until he is let loose in the night to lurk through the neighborhood, exercising his wild side.

I love this girl and have spent time with her when she was younger, but never, I realized, one on one. So I admit I was a little nervous to have her out to this wild place, so far removed from the Super Target that is located down the street from her house, so far from the structured entertainment and the embracing neighborhood full of friends and swimming pools and a bike rides and movie theatres at your fingertips. I was worried she would be bored. I was worried she was going to miss her friends. I was worried that the things I liked to do when I was twelve (and let’s just admit it here, still do) would not appeal to her. And to top off the unexpected anxiety, it occurred to me that this pre-teen might never survive without cell service!

OMG!

So the plans I made to walk through the creek beds and pick wild berries and go fishing in the big lake and ride bike were on a list right next to the back-up plans of movies and swimming pools and manicures…you know, just in case.

But sweet Red was not nervous at all. Red packed her bags diligently in her room in the suburb of Minneapolis at the end of her summer with sweet adventure in her sight. She was on a quiet mission as she endured bravely the ten hour trip out west in a car with nothing on her mind but exploring every inch of this place on the back of a horse.

As soon as the car pulled through the breaks of the badlands and down into the valley of my parent’s home, Red stepped out and sucked in the fresh air and immediately buried her face in the necks of the two dogs rushing, tails wagging, coming to greet her. I’ve never seen a smile that genuine. I’ve never seen a heart open that wide.

And in that moment it was quite clear that this girl, with the freckles and the blue eyes and the beautiful, straight, long red hair–a girl so far away from me in miles and looks and lifestyle and years, did indeed share the same blood.

I should not have been surprised. I should not have doubted this wonderful, curious, adventurous child. With the perfectly placed ponytails and the cowboy hat and boots I lent her she even reminded me of Annie Oakley!

So I took this as my cue and I shredded my backup list and made plans to check off everything on the first one—the real one.

We had two days.

So we scoured the hills for chokecherries and plums, got her shoes muddy in the black mud of the crick (“do you say creek or crick?” “Well, I guess we say crick around here…”), threw the stick for the dogs to fetch and caught a frog. And because she is a Minnesota girl, I thought she should see a lake completely different than those in her backyard. So down the road we went to big, rugged, untamed Lake Sakakawea to fish for walleye against the clay cliffs that border the shore. And damn if Red didn’t catch the only fish. Big Fish.

Oh, her brothers would be jealous.

She swam with the lab in the cool North Dakota lake, she shot a Pabst can right off of the fence post with the .22, she rode the 4-wheeler, she tamed the wild cat, she sat out in the yard with the four dogs as the sun went down on what I hoped was a day of her dreams…

And she rode horse.

And If ever there was a moment that needed to occur in the life of a twelve year old girl—a moment that makes all of the annoying troubles of the world disappear (like puberty and high-water pants and friends who betray you and parents who just don’t understand), a moment where complete innocence and trust and hope appears again in the eyes of a girl on the verge of womanhood, it was this one.

We walked into the corrals and I pointed out her horse. Her eyes sparked. I slowly and carefully showed her how to bridle the creature. She listened intently. I gave her the currycomb and she brushed his coat and mane. She asked where horses like to be scratched and her hand reached up under the chin of her animal and he answered her question as her new four-legged friend showed his appreciation by stretching out his neck and nuzzling her shoulder.

And if I thought Red’s heart was open as wide as a heart could be with her face nestled into the necks of the labs and the pug and the shepherd, I know now that I was strongly mistaken about how big hearts really are.

But I should have known. I was that girl.

I am her.

Because there is nothing like a girl on a horse. And until now, I guess I must have thought I was the only one who lost myself completely on the back of an animal who takes your life and carries it across the rugged prairies, through fields of clover and snakes and wild, wild things. I guess I thought I was the only one who threw my heart wholly to a beast who could launch you high in the air with one kick and send you tumbling to the ground, but mostly chooses not to (mostly…but sometimes you need to learn a lesson or two) and instead listens as you ask him to climb a hill

or go fast around a barrel or get up close to a raspberry bush so you can have a sample and then help you bring the cows home.

See, there is a certain amount of trust, a special trust, a different kind of connection between a girl and a horse. And bear with me because I think there is an amount of truth here…

A boy, a man, and his horse have a different agreement. There is a certain amount of power a man, whether physical or mental, is not willing to relinquish to a beast. There is an understanding between the four legged animal and the two legged creature on his back that they will indeed accomplish a task, together, successfully, the way it was meant to the man. And the man thanks the horse for his assistance.

And this is a wonderful thing.

But a girl loves her horse with the kind of tenderness only a woman can give. She longs to understand the animal and knows there are days when all you can do is walk slowly together down the road, no matter how pressing the issue. A girl wants to ride just to maintain a connection with her animal, to let him know that he is hers, she is his and she is here. But when the time comes to run, there is nothing more untamed, there is nothing wilder, there is nothing closer to the wind than a girl, hair tangling behind her, face close to the neck of a her beast as they reach for the horizon.

And up until now it didn’t occur to me that maybe that sort of wild is in every woman, somewhere.

So thanks Red. Thanks for coming over and showing me that even city girls can open their hearts and let go of their fear and their life and the world as they know it and….

ride like the wind.