In my life, by my own unscientific, not so mathematic, sort of a wild and exaggerated calculation, I estimate that I have driven approximately 7,538,390 miles.
But it’s probably more.
I mean, living 30 miles (give or take) from the nearest town and having acquired my drivers license and a 1982 Sorta Pink Ford LTD I liked to call Rosie when I was only 14, I’ve had ample opportunity to put plenty of road behind me in twenty or so years…
Take that and add the five years I spent touring up and down the country singing for my supper and you think you could call me an expert…in maps, in traffic laws, in emergency preparedness, in flat tires and rear-enders, turn signals and every gas station from here to Ada, Oklahoma.
And I am. I am an expert in some of those things. Like emergency preparedness.
Just take a look in my car right now. I have everything you’d ever need if you were ever stranded…at a party…or a bonfire.
A can of Big Sexy Hairspray. Sunflower seeds. A guitar stand. Blankets. Magazines. An extra pair of Toms slip ons. A beach towel. Wrapped Christmas presents I still need to deliver to my best friend and her kids in Bismarck. Thirty-seven half drunk water bottles and one sorta-full Snapple. Can cozies. A partridge in a pear tree.
Oh, and the backpack my mother-in-law packed for me in case of an apocalypse. There’s that to go along with the winter gear.
I’ve got piles of it.
Yes, I’m a true North Dakotan, so in case the summer kegger doesn’t spontaneously occur, I’m covered for winter too.
Home to the great white and frickin’ frozen north.
You know what that weather report up there doesn’t say? It doesn’t say that the wind is blowing 50 MPH, making the air feel like it’s actually -30.
Which would mean when I got on the plane in Cabo on Tuesday morning and landed in Bismarck, North Dakota on Tuesday night, my body was asked to deal with a nearly 100 degree temperature difference.
CABO!
NOT Cabo.
I can’t help but feel the shock of the juxtaposition that was the result of a couple plane rides …
CABO!
NOT Cabo.
But oh, we had a nice trip. We wore vacation hats.
We got some sun our our pasty white skin. We played beach volleyball and drank ridiculous drinks,
we swam in the ocean,
and rang in the new year in a blur of tequila and club music.
And while we were doing those things, the wind was whipping in a cold front up north, as it tends to do in January.
But you know what they do in January in Cabo? They ride horses in shorts and bare feet on the beach.
Yup.
CABO HORSES.
NOT Cabo horses.
Dammit, it’s cold here. No more vacation hats for us.
Beach Couple
Arctic Tundra Couple
White Sandy Shoreline
Just a white line
Cabo Husband.
Freezing Husband.
Cabo couple
Umm, no…
Cabo Cactus
Not a Cabo Cactus
80 degrees and sunny sisters
30 below zero and windy sisters
Vacation feet.
Not on vacation anymore feet
Warm weather pet
A more snuggly version
A beachy drink
A blizzard-y drink
A walk on the beach
Ah, son of a beettchh…
And that’s it. No, we’re not in Cabo anymore boys and girls…
But we’re not beach people really.
We’re pale and pasty northerners with a large collection of wool socks. And we’re home.
And no matter what the sky is doing in Mexico, or Jamaica, or Sunny California, it’s always good to be here.
It’s a nostalgic time of year. The Christmas tree is up and families are making plans to get together. I’m working on cleaning up the kitchen after a cookie decorating party that almost didn’t happen if it weren’t for Betty Crocker and my mother.
And I’m thinking about the music as we move into the new year.
Songs that were written as my dad recovered. Songs that were written on the backs of horses in the spring, during a rain storm with the windows open in our house and the morning after a late night playing with the band.
Songs about settling into a lifetime love. Songs about promises and shoveling dirt and making it all work when I was sure it couldn’t possibly happen.
Songs about the world getting smaller.
Songs about home.
After the new year I will take another trip to Nashville, and then maybe another, and then plans will be made to get these songs out into the world. The work has just begun on this project. I have taken my music across the country before, but there was something sort of surreal about packing new and unheard words with me, carrying them up over the clouds and putting them down, recreating them in a place where music seems to ring from the windows of every building, when the music I make was taken from these hills and small town streets.
It’s always been this way. This place has been inspiring me since I wrote poems about the frogs I would catch in the crick below the house.
And as got older I wondered if maybe I should try something a little more catchy. A little simpler. Maybe a song about drinking beer while dangling my feet off the back of a pickup bed.
The subject matter seems to be popular these days.
And it’s not like I’ve never drank a beer while sitting on a tailgate. But isn’t there more to say about that? About the person sitting next to us? About the ground we’re drinking on?
About what it feels like to be 18 and then 21 and then 31 and so scared and so free at the same time?
Isn’t there a place for a song about the hot sticky calm before a rain that brings the men in from the fields?
I think so. I want to listen to those songs. And so I try to write them.
When I got home from my first trip to Nashville the music around me became apparent again, somehow just ringing louder in my ears. Maybe being away for a minute is a little inspiring in itself. Seeing Music City reminded me of what a weird and challenging little life I’ve set up for myself living out here as far away from any coast or city center as I can get, making my way as a singer and writer in such a practical environment, where a real job makes so much more sense.
Except don’t we need songs out here too? Songs about us? Isn’t that old country church that closed its doors years ago worth commemorating? Isn’t the story of the man in the bar who looked at me and lamented the loss of his high school love worth telling?
Isn’t this place just the right combination of romantic and heart wrenching, hopeful and unforgiving? What about the lines created on the faces of our grandparents earned through a life of work and worry, that in this day in age, we’d know nothing about if we weren’t told?
This is what -2 with a -100 wind chill looks like.
Don’t let the sunshine fool you.
And so the scene is set…
Ahem…
‘Twas the Sunday after Thanksgiving, and one of the last free weekends Husband and I have in December to spend traipsing around our countryside on the hunt for a tree.
So it didn’t matter that our blood could freeze right there in our veins, or that our eyeballs could turn to ice cubes, our snot into icicles dangling from on our nostrils. It didn’t matter that our very lives were in danger of being taken by Jack Frost himself, we were gonna get my darn tree.
We were gonna put on 37 layers of clothes, load up in the new/old feed pickup,
turn off of the gravel and onto the dirt/compacted snow/ice trail, drive really slow and discuss our options while looking out the window.
We were going to spot a couple potential spruce bushes relatively close to one another on the side of the buttes, park the pickup, avoid a puppy-cicle and leave Gus inside, grab the saw from the back, trudge up the hill to the first option
and mumble into our scarves with our eyes half open (you know, to avoid the whole icicle thing) about the potential of a tree that is a 10-foot tall version of Charlie Brown’s, but has possibilities really, because, well, it’s here and we might freeze to death if we stay out much longer weighing our options.
But then we’re going to decide to risk it, spot another tree down the hill, walk over to discover it’s the same size as the one in Rockefeller Center and consider the possibility of building an addition to accommodate, because, well, there’s that whole freezing to death thing we’ll still be dealing with before I will turn my face toward the sun to discover one last option blowing in the wind among thorn bushes a quarter mile away.
So I’ll decide we’ll never feel our legs again anyway and we might very well lose our noses to frostbite, but we might as well assess the bushy little tree, decide it’s not so bad, decide it will work just fine before Husband will stomp down the thorn bushes and start after the trunk with his battery-operated saw with a battery that lasts approximately 3 seconds at a time, you know, apparently death-defying cold applies to power tools too…
And we are going to finally get the thing down after one big push, drag it to the the pickup a half a mile away,
decide we might be dying, throw the tree on the flatbed, open the doors, get back inside the pickup, crank up the heat, blow our noses that will be miraculously still attached to our faces, and head back down the road toward home.
Then we are going to get one mile from home and Husband is going to stop the pickup in the middle of the road, get out, run to the ditch and drag the tree back on the flatbed.
And when we arrive at home, we are going to put the tree in the basement to thaw out, I’m going to say goodbye to Husband who is crazy enough to put on one more layer and sit out in his hunting blind for the rest of the day, then I will pour myself a cup of coffee, consider adding whiskey, make plans for an evening decorating mission, because it will take me a good three to five hours to feel my fingers again and call it a Merry Merry Christmas.
When I was growing up, Pops would take us hunting out in these hills surrounding the house and the barnyard. He grew up out here, scouting and sneaking and watching the animals and how they move through the valley. He’s never lost his fascination and appreciation for the way they can survive and thrive out here, even in the middle of the harshest winters.
He studies them, their patterns, how the big buck spends his days bedded down in the bull berries, where the group of does and fawns water in the morning. He taught us how to tell the difference between a whitetail and a mule deer.
He made sure to note the direction of the wind and why it mattered.
He geared us up with blaze orange and we went sneaking over the hill, crawling on our bellies.
He packed jerky in his pockets. Coffee in a thermos in the pickup.
When the time was right, he taught us to shoot. When we were old enough we took hunter’s safety through our shop courses in school and we went out and took our own animal. He mounted the horns for us. He was proud.
Pops remembers every deer taken on this place. Where we were. Who was with him. How cold it was.
He keeps a book of photos from the hunts, dating back to when he was a young man, hunting with his uncles, with his dad, with his young kids and now with grown daughters and the man I married.
When my uncle was here a few weeks back, I went out with Husband on a bow hunt in the east pasture before the snow fell. We all paired off, two hunters in each corner of the place. I followed along and couldn’t help but think of all the stories swapped around the kitchen table the evening before. The memories attached to all of these trails, all of these hilltops, all of the breath held in the wind out here is not so much about the animal taken, although it’s never taken for granted, but more about the time spent together in the quiet of a place so special to us.
Out here, in this season, snow comes and goes quickly. We froze our butts off early last week, only to be welcomed by a thaw at the end of it, followed by 30 mph winds that blew the snow sideways on Sunday.
Coincidently this is also the day we chose to clean out the shop and our basement, sending me winging boxes of unusable crap into the garbage pit only to have it all fly back into my face…like three of four times…before I decided to approach the whole chore from the opposite direction. You know, wind at my back…always the right choice.
A choice made after almost the entire contents in the back of the pickup blew out across the prairie on my way to the dump, sending me flailing after it.
A choice made after the old pickup without a parking brake nearly rolled into said garbage pit while my back was turned, you know, flinging things.
Winter. Some days you’re such a bitch.
Oh, but we have ways of coping around here.
Because when the season of snow-pelting-you-so-hard-in-the-eyeballs-they-threaten-to- freeze-shut is upon us, we strip off our forty-seven layers and head to the kitchen to whip up something warm, preferably with noodles and heavy whipping cream.
Yes, if we have to have winter, at least we have heavy whipping cream to get us through.
So that’s what this week’s column is about. It’s about the recipes Husband and I concoct in our little kitchen to pass the time on long winter nights.
And I realize that the holiday season is just starting, and we have a trip to Cabo in the works to help ring in the new year, so really, I should just take it easy and have a salad for gawd sake, but for some reason the thought of squeezing my pasty white squishy body in a bathing suit in a month or so is not scary enough to keep me from a second helping of Husband’s famous cream noodles.
Yes. You read it up there. Homemade noodles fried and smothered in cream.
There’s that. And then there’s the two giant pots of knoephla soup mom and I cooked up for the crew of hunters/family this weekend. And yes, it was me who convinced her to add another pot.
Because you can’t have enough creamy soup. You can’t have too much! You can always save it and have it for lunch every day until Christmas!
And don’t even get me started on the traditional holiday cheese ballI’ll be concocting on Thursday…
Or the fact that all I want for breakfast for the rest of my life is a caramel rollfollowed by a donut washed down with seven cups of coffee.
Because it’s winter and I’m ssstttaarrrvvinnnggg.
It’s winter and my primal instincts are kicking in.
“Stock up, stock up, stock up…” they whisper. “You don’t know where your next meal is coming from.”
And I believe the voices. Even though I do.
I do know where my next meal is coming from.
It’s coming from my refrigerator and from the imagination of the man with deep German immigrant roots who can make anything with enough butter, flour, cream, potatoes and a side of pork.
One of my favorite parts about making and performing music is meeting the people who have found they can relate to the songs I write. I’ve been performing out and about in support of my last album “Nothing’s Forever” since it’s release in 2012.
Since then I’ve hosted CD release parties, been hired as the opening act for big names, have been the main event myself, joined up with another band of great musicians, sat around campfires and house parties, performed at bars, major events, and festivals surrounded by so much intimidating talent it made my heart beat out of my chest and,
of course, met hundreds of wonderful people along the way who take the time to tell me that they can relate…
To the songs about rural living. To the cowboys in the music. To leaving the light on for the people they love. To the weather so cold it freezes your bones. To the loneliness for a familiar place. To being so happy you have to sing it louder.
What was a fun, catchy song that almost didn’t make it on the album surprisingly turned into an anthem for the women out there listening and singing along, thinking about all the times that dog of hers was the only one who got it.
The only one who understood when there were no words.
The most loyal. The most sincere. One of her favorite things about this life, even when he poops on her rug or chews her favorite pair of boots or tears through the kitchen screen door in a thunderstorm.
With each show, after talking to the crowd and watching you sing along, I understood more and more that this song needed to be written. It was a story that hadn’t really been told yet. A simple one, but apparently, an experience many of us share.
A girl needs a dog in times like these Some hope and a plan Clarity A girl needs a bike or her own car keys A girl needs a dog
A girl needs a dog
You showed me photos of your pets, sent me emails with stories about how the two of you found each other. There were labs and shitzus, mutts, poodles, an array of cow dogs, dozens of pugs and even one missing an eye like my lost but not forgotten Chug the Pug.
You told me about your daughter and how she begged for a puppy. You sent the song on to your nieces and granddaughters. Your sister who brings her Chihuahua everywhere.
What a thing to come together in the name of a song about a dog.
But as much as this song is about our furry companions, it was written as an anthem to a girl finding her independence and being comfortable and strong in it. And sometimes, when you’re unsure about it all, that dog helps hold us up a little.
That’s what I think anyway.
Turns out, that’s what you think too.
Anyway, in a few weeks I’m heading to Nashville to record another album. Since the release of “Nothing’s Forever”, I’ve been writing and re-writing and putting new songs together, songs that will mark a different time here in this place that I love, a place that’s changing every day, but still so much a piece of me.
There will be stories in these songs about loss and hope, love and home and work and the rain pouring down on a hot summer day.
But before I move on to the next project, I want to finish this one. I need to make “A Girl Needs a Dog” come to life.
So here’s the plan. I need your help. I want to see you with your pooch in action and I want to feature you in a video for the song. You know your dog is the best, so why not show her off?!
So here’s the task my loyal listeners with loyal canine companions. Send a video clip (video is preferred) or photo of you and your dog (or your sister and her dog, or your wife and her dog, or your daughter and her dog…you get the point) working, playing, getting into trouble or just hanging out to jessieveeder@gmail.com and I will feature them in a music video for “A Girl Needs a Dog.”
To thank you for your help in this effort, the first fifteen women who shares her video/photo will receive a free “A Girl Needs a Dog” t-shirt featuring a sketch of the beautiful one-eyed pug. Simply include your address and size in the email (M, L, XL, 2XL)
The rest of you will receive a free track of the song as a thanks for sharing, and of course, world wide fame for you and your beloved pooch in the video.
Thank you for helping to make this song come to life and for celebrating and taking such good care of all of those awesome dogs out there.
I’m sure they’re so happy to be taking care of you too.
10 degrees and it looks like that’s where it’s gonna stay. All day. The rest of the week.
I wanna snuggle up in a big ‘ol pile with this kitten and all my blankets.
It’s funny how fast the seasons shift around here. I’ve lived here long enough to expect it, but just a few days ago it was sunny and mild and the hilltops were gold and we were walking around saying, “What a beautiful fall we’ve been having!” “Aren’t we lucky!”
And then, overnight…
Below zero temperatures. Icy roads, people trying to remember where they put their favorite scarf. Hat. Mittens.
I hauled the giant tub of winter gear upstairs to sort through. Ordered a new pair of snow boots.
Took the dogs for a walk.
Turned around after five minutes and went back inside.
Shit. It’s cold.
I’m not ready for this.
The dam is froze up. Ranchers are breaking ice and feeding hay.
I am making plans for soup for dinner every night for the next six months.
I even went to craft club and attempted to make mittens out of an old sweater.
I hadn’t used a sewing machine since I nearly failed Home Ec. in the 8th grade. This time it didn’t go much better.
I required assistance. A lot of assistance. And the mittens, well, one is done. Sorta. I might need to call Martha Stewart…and pour a drink…
But these are the things people out here do in the winter. They have hobbies. Or create new ones that will help them pass the time in the dark and cold that settles in here around 5 pm and lingers until the morning. And some might pour a little bourbon in a glass, you know, to thaw out a bit…
If the cold and the white on the plains were as inspiring to as many people as the waves in the ocean hitting the shore, or the tall pines of the mountains reaching toward the sky, we would have thousands of poets and painters here telling the story of a frozen world.
But the cold settling in on the plains is a beauty recognized by the characters out here who can’t help but marvel at extremes. They appreciate what cold does to the body and the soul, makes it slow down, recharge, toughen up and soften up at the same time.
We take pride in the taking care of things, the animals, the driveway, one another.
We laugh at things like frozen eyeballs, snot-sicles and relocated southerners who think 20 degrees is as cold as it gets.
It is cold. But it will get colder.
My Lord, will it get colder.
It Came In With The Night
Go find your mittens
so your fingers don’t freeze
slip on your big boots
pull your socks to your knees
Dig out your best scarf
wrap it round yourself tight
the snow has arrived here
it came in with the night.
I’ll put the roast in the oven
and heat the milk on the stove
they’ll be right here waiting
when you come in from the cold
Knocking ice from the branches
and stringing Christmas tree lights
yes the snow has arrived dear
it came in with the night.
So squeeze on your knit cap
over wild wooly hair
watch your breath float and drift
in the crisp morning air
Break the ice for the cattle
put the saddles away
yes the snow has arrived here
We’re celebrating a North Dakota official holiday here today. The wind is whipping the cold rain around and men and women are pulling on neon orange knit caps over their unruly hair, growing out sweet beards (well, the men anyway) stocking up on whiskey and pulling out the cards for poker tonight.
Happy Hunting Season Opener everyone!
There was a time in my life this was a reason for an excused absence from country school.
Turns out, that doesn’t carry out in the working world, but I tell you, there are plenty of North Dakotans out there today who have opted to dress head to toe in camouflage and hunker down in hurricane winds sitting just under the skyline instead of going to work today.
If you’re here today, you’ll know who they are. They are the ones with the bright orange cap sitting on the dash of their pickups, driving really slow along the county roads.
Hunting for deer.
In honor of the season I will cook up some stew this weekend, turn on the fire and maybe have some whiskey myself.
In honor of the season, I am going to resurrect this little gem here, for those women out there suddenly finding themselves lonely: